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Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

#21074690
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (41859)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML

#21123459
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (4366)

On 04/26/2014 at 12:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked a student to an office on the other side of the school. I'm the kind of person who would rather make conversation than endure awkward silence, so I tried to talk to him. He just stared intently at my chest the whole time. FML

Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML

#21233475
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45897) - you deserved it (6328)

On 08/09/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by jakethemuss - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46336) - you deserved it (3211)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35660) - you deserved it (3509)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (5737)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

#21313160
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39767) - you deserved it (3384)

On 12/07/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

#21322801
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41526) - you deserved it (3669)

On 12/23/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

#21336664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37574) - you deserved it (2676)

On 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm - love - by RipeFlame - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26960) - you deserved it (3239)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, my fiancé and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML

#21362501
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43016) - you deserved it (2785)

On 02/24/2015 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - India (Tamil Nadu)



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