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Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38590) - you deserved it (3869)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43821) - you deserved it (8853)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

#20946422
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44458) - you deserved it (10721)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by roughsexgonewrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48885) - you deserved it (5408)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57162) - you deserved it (4855)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40610) - you deserved it (3240)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55496) - you deserved it (3181)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

#21055090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55099) - you deserved it (7177)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55727) - you deserved it (6336)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45320) - you deserved it (14753) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML



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