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Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70401) - you deserved it (6805)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46177) - you deserved it (5965)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42722) - you deserved it (3549)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49969) - you deserved it (9975)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41431) - you deserved it (4352)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43624) - you deserved it (22681)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17304) - you deserved it (32320)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I turned around in my cubicle to see the entire marketing department (myself excluded) getting ready to have lunch together. Nobody mentioned it to me. FML

#865
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (1726)

On 01/08/2009 at 8:30am - work - by Webmonkey - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep in English and drooled on my test. Evidently everyone noticed. FML

#1218
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6404) - you deserved it (16738)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by Erin - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML

#2247
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13415) - you deserved it (2082)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42782) - you deserved it (5154)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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