Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came back to my room and sat down at my desk to find pile short, curly hairs on it. Neither me or my roommate have curly hair, and it isn't mine. I think he trimmed his pubes over my desk and forgot to clean it up. FML

#9171257
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27670) - you deserved it (2823)

On 03/17/2010 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by pubes (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I woke up very excited because I was going on my first date with this guy I really liked. I dressed very nicely and went to where we were supposed to meet. I waited for about 2 hours. I called him to ask him where he was. He got angry because he was still sleeping and I woke him up. FML

#12998632
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34543) - you deserved it (3590)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:47am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

#15229929
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31535) - you deserved it (6407)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm - health - by Less (woman) - Reserved

Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML

#15938297
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28916) - you deserved it (5789)

On 04/26/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by gottapee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it snowed a lot and my friends and I went outside for a walk. Someone drove by and threw a snowball at me, hitting me square in the face. Surprised, I side-stepped only to end up losing balance and roll down a hill into a ditch full of prickly bushes. FML

#14918600
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30209) - you deserved it (3669)

On 02/10/2011 at 2:26am - misc - by onehitwonder -

Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML

#16486194
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30329) - you deserved it (7129)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I thought I was going to my doctor for a yearly check-up. My father had actually tricked me into therapy. FML

#19323093
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21718) - you deserved it (3595)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm - health - by nazooer - United States

Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML

#16215643
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30068) - you deserved it (5921)

On 05/16/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by t -

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

#17597789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26574) - you deserved it (5341)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML

Today, I listened as my ridiculously wealthy friend excitedly rambled on and on about her latest shopping trip. This is the same friend who owes me £150, and accused me of being insensitive for asking her to repay it at some point. FML

#17928398
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30704) - you deserved it (3873)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:02pm - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

#18388917
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6801) - you deserved it (69672)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML

#19943890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8614) - you deserved it (34355)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by SCdriver (man) - United States (South Carolina)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: