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Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43484) - you deserved it (2520)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

#20874571
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53853) - you deserved it (6235)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

#20857902
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66851) - you deserved it (4025)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26890) - you deserved it (92796)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49538) - you deserved it (4946)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18106) - you deserved it (89406)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

#20907686
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41381) - you deserved it (5335) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/04/2013 at 7:00pm - animals - by iet_Wyrda (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42778) - you deserved it (3708)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

#20897003
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43346) - you deserved it (5875)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by my gran is a cuntwaffle (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

#20900063
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43508) - you deserved it (4118)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:45am - misc - by -__-" - United States (Washington)

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

#20956290
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47890) - you deserved it (3871)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by BreakingTheMood (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (3869)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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