Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46028) - you deserved it (4604)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

#20924969
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45795) - you deserved it (2713)

On 10/18/2013 at 8:40am - work - by Quasimodo (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43019) - you deserved it (8721)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

#20946422
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (10054)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by roughsexgonewrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39821) - you deserved it (4716)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37339) - you deserved it (9947)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53040) - you deserved it (2978)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43438) - you deserved it (6309)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37216) - you deserved it (3389)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49169) - you deserved it (4793)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

#21024837
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42287) - you deserved it (20965)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39494) - you deserved it (12377)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: