Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43343) - you deserved it (5037)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42670) - you deserved it (3548)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49991) - you deserved it (9967)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41383) - you deserved it (4351)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31496) - you deserved it (14492)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28462) - you deserved it (3343)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31481) - you deserved it (6450)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I turned around in my cubicle to see the entire marketing department (myself excluded) getting ready to have lunch together. Nobody mentioned it to me. FML

#865
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19196) - you deserved it (1722)

On 01/08/2009 at 8:30am - work - by Webmonkey - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML

#2247
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13366) - you deserved it (2074)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I accepted an internship in Chicago and finished my final exams. I decided to play some pick up basketball one last time before summer. Within 2 minutes I got undercut going for a rebound and shattered my knee cap into 3 pieces. My summer in Chicago will be spent in a full leg cast. FML

#1952667
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39191) - you deserved it (3804)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:05am - health - by FourKnees (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the military base to save $10 on a haircut. On the way out the gate, the glare of the sun blocked my view of a star barrier. Instead of saving $10 on a haircut I now owe a $500 deductible to fix my car. FML

Today, I had my new Blackberry Curve sitting on my lunch tray. Unthinkingly, i tossed it into the garbage can. 10 minutes later i realized I had thrown it away and spent the next hour searching through six garbage cans of half-eaten food. FML

#6372164
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6811) - you deserved it (26005)

On 11/19/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by gravycoveredblackberry (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML

#6719258
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (2038)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: