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Today, I finished a drawing that I spent over 14 hours working on for my mom for Mother's Day. I took it outside to seal it with fixative. I took of the clear lid, shook the can, then sprayed red spray paint all over my art. FML

by Mandy / 05/09/2009 at 2:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend "we need to talk". He said "i know". So we met after school, and he said he was ok with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

by knee2tak / 03/14/2009 at 5:46am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

by FML / 06/21/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, it was my birthday. Normally, the little office I work in throws a big party for every employee on their special day, but nothing was done for me, not even a "Happy Birthday" came my way. I didn't want to be rude, so I stayed silent. They didn't do anything because I was getting laid off. FML

by WitchQueenLiz / 06/28/2009 at 4:25am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I bought a CD off a man who always plays Spanish guitar in the subway. When I got to work and tried playing the CD, it was blank. I paid $15 for a blank CD. FML

by Raaaaaaarrrrrr / 07/12/2009 at 10:30pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was just about to get in the shower, when I heard a loud crunch. I thought to myself, boy the neighbours next door must be doing some heavy construction. Two seconds after that thought, my brother knocked on the door to inform me that the neighbours tree had just fallen on my car. FML

by Jaybird1587 / 08/03/2009 at 8:43am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

by ilikemusicokay / 08/08/2009 at 1:04am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 10:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML

by shocked / 10/12/2009 at 10:52am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party. But when I went in, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML

by yper / 10/27/2009 at 12:43pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I got a card from the jewelry store thanking me for purchasing an engagement ring a year ago and wishing me and my fiancée a long and everlasting marriage. Too bad my fiancée took off with the pizza delivery boy 6 months ago. FML

by figures / 11/16/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML

by Violated / 12/09/2009 at 3:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, it is New Year's Day. While all of my friends are out partying, I stayed home and mastered level 34 on FarmVille. FML

by thatsjustlovely / 01/01/2010 at 3:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous