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Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML

by beep_guacamole / 05/24/2009 at 5:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, I updated an e-mail I've saved to drafts and have been updating every day for the last few months to a girl I really adore. In this letter, I told her everything I ever kept from her. Instead of saving it to drafts again, I accidentally sent it. And she's online. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 1:06pm / United States / Love

Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML

by Labelme / 01/02/2010 at 3:26am / United States / Work

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get sized. I put the card that says my size in my pocket, then went to the movies with my boyfriend. When the person at the counter asked me to hand them my ticket, I reached into my pocket and handed it to them. It wasn't the ticket. It was my bra size. FML

by StrawberryJuicey / 12/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

by 2ndchoice / 12/12/2009 at 10:47am / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Love

Today, my mom sold the car I've been working on for the last few years for 100 dollars. To buy gas for her car. FML

by Butter_Cup / 12/28/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

by indiansbaseball4 / 01/14/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 mins and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say "oh cool". FML

by Sheggie / 01/30/2010 at 12:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, I received a notice that my boyfriend had given me a rose via Happy Aquarium on Facebook. It came with a date cancellation so that he and his friends could play BioShock. FML

by Fv-day / 02/14/2010 at 11:32am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs while delivering a pizza, and severely sprained my ankle. The guy looked at me lying there, and shut the door in my face. I then got told to "Suck it up, Princess" by my manager. FML

by earths_venus / 08/26/2010 at 8:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a date with my new boyfriend. When the check came, he asked, "Do you accept food stamps?" When the waiter said no, he checked in his wallet and said, "Well all I have is five dollars." I ended up picking up the $20 tab. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Love

Today, a woman slipped on the ice in front of me. Instinctively, I caught her before she fell. Instead of thanking me, she whirled around and asked me if my *expletive* mother had taught me to grope women inappropriately. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 11:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous