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Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML

by jenpearl / 06/19/2015 at 9:06pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my mum prepared my bag for football practice. In the changing room I found one of her thongs. FML

by rob / 11/23/2008 at 5:59am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML

by fatass / 02/19/2009 at 2:36am / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

by sarahhh / 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, the 75 year old blinding owner of the bar I work at called me over and told me to fire "Rachel, the stupid c**t after the next wrong thing she does". My name is Rachel. FML

by nicooolea / 03/03/2009 at 3:26am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I parked downtown for a few minutes to pick up a pizza. As I was getting out of my car, a sketchy guy came up and asked me for $5. I told him to get lost and walked away. I walked back to the lot with my pizza and my car was gone. The sketchy guy was a parking attendent. He had my car towed. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2009 at 9:25am / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

by FML / 06/21/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I bought a CD off a man who always plays Spanish guitar in the subway. When I got to work and tried playing the CD, it was blank. I paid $15 for a blank CD. FML

by Raaaaaaarrrrrr / 07/12/2009 at 10:30pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I updated an e-mail I've saved to drafts and have been updating every day for the last few months to a girl I really adore. In this letter, I told her everything I ever kept from her. Instead of saving it to drafts again, I accidentally sent it. And she's online. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 1:06pm / United States / Love

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get sized. I put the card that says my size in my pocket, then went to the movies with my boyfriend. When the person at the counter asked me to hand them my ticket, I reached into my pocket and handed it to them. It wasn't the ticket. It was my bra size. FML

by StrawberryJuicey / 12/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the spreadsheet red and okay parts green. After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML

by Colormered / 01/12/2010 at 10:08am / France / Work

Today, I received a notice that my boyfriend had given me a rose via Happy Aquarium on Facebook. It came with a date cancellation so that he and his friends could play BioShock. FML

by Fv-day / 02/14/2010 at 11:32am / United States (Michigan) / Love