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Today, I opened my email expecting to see messages from my friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, but there were none. There were Happy Birthday messages from Pizza Hut and Victoria's Secret, however. FML

#1525612
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58056) - you deserved it (4199)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

#37272
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39630) - you deserved it (3354)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by sarahhh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the 75 year old blinding owner of the bar I work at called me over and told me to fire "Rachel, the stupid c**t after the next wrong thing she does". My name is Rachel. FML

#193676
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55337) - you deserved it (3726)

On 03/03/2009 at 3:26am - work - by nicooolea (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I parked downtown for a few minutes to pick up a pizza. As I was getting out of my car, a sketchy guy came up and asked me for $5. I told him to get lost and walked away. I walked back to the lot with my pizza and my car was gone. The sketchy guy was a parking attendent. He had my car towed. FML

#1251625
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13928) - you deserved it (68310)

On 04/23/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML

#2247907
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54441) - you deserved it (4474)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by beep_guacamole (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML

#4600663
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48545) - you deserved it (5816)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I finally figured out why my 5 year old daughter washes her hair everyday. It's because she doesn't want to have "yucky greasy" hair like her mommy. FML

#5108353
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15988) - you deserved it (45750)

On 09/07/2009 at 4:25pm - kids - by greasyhair (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I updated an e-mail I've saved to drafts and have been updating every day for the last few months to a girl I really adore. In this letter, I told her everything I ever kept from her. Instead of saving it to drafts again, I accidentally sent it. And she's online. FML

#5206414
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13814) - you deserved it (49412)

On 09/12/2009 at 1:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get sized. I put the card that says my size in my pocket, then went to the movies with my boyfriend. When the person at the counter asked me to hand them my ticket, I reached into my pocket and handed it to them. It wasn't the ticket. It was my bra size. FML

#6738638
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9956) - you deserved it (30835)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by StrawberryJuicey (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

#6721141
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38961) - you deserved it (2768)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:47am - love - by 2ndchoice (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my mom sold the car I've been working on for the last few years for 100 dollars. To buy gas for her car. FML

#6995893
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41634) - you deserved it (2645)

On 12/28/2009 at 4:39pm - money - by Butter_Cup - United States (California)

Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML

#7099062
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/02/2010 at 3:26am - work - by Labelme (woman) - United States

Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 mins and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say "oh cool". FML

#7693215
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31880) - you deserved it (14251)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:06am - money - by Sheggie (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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