Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML

#75881
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36821) - you deserved it (7066)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:36am - health - by fatass (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I failed a basic intelligence test when the mouse trap I was setting up snapped on my thumb. Later, when I checked the trap I saw that the mouse had managed to lick all the bait off the trap without being caught, I have a sore thumb and was outsmarted by a rodent. FML

#2765186
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35852) - you deserved it (13373)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:13am - animals - by Trapped (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out that my writing teacher entered in one of my paper grades wrong. After many emails, she said she can't change my grade unless I fax her the original. I need that grade fixed so I can keep my scholarship. I can’t find the paper anywhere. That one paper could cost me $30,000. FML

#1975223
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71975) - you deserved it (8243)

On 05/16/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I opened my email expecting to see messages from my friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, but there were none. There were Happy Birthday messages from Pizza Hut and Victoria's Secret, however. FML

#1525612
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56606) - you deserved it (4073)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

#59474
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11004) - you deserved it (39978)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)

Today, is my 18th birthday. I call my parents and they tell me they found weed in the guest house and so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say "Happy Birthday." FML

#660638
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65463) - you deserved it (4507)

On 03/28/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by alrightsheryl - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML

#2247907
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53179) - you deserved it (4370)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by beep_guacamole (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML

#4600663
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47016) - you deserved it (5659)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I finally figured out why my 5 year old daughter washes her hair everyday. It's because she doesn't want to have "yucky greasy" hair like her mommy. FML

#5108353
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15487) - you deserved it (44945)

On 09/07/2009 at 4:25pm - kids - by greasyhair (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

#6721141
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37095) - you deserved it (2630)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:47am - love - by 2ndchoice (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I ran into some friends from high school who had just gotten back from college. We were talking about what happened during our sophomore year. When it was my turn to tell them what I had been doing, all I could say was "Well, I started wearing V-Neck t-shirts and they're pretty comfortable." FML

#6840673
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9402) - you deserved it (25967)

On 12/20/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by StayedHome89 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
78 comments

Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 mins and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say "oh cool". FML

#7693215
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30508) - you deserved it (13747)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:06am - money - by Sheggie (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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