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Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

#6546793
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15904) - you deserved it (11736)

On 12/01/2009 at 2:05am - health - by ihatecats - United States

Today, I found out that the shower sponge I've been using for a while now is the very same sponge my friends used to wipe up my vomit when I was drunk. I have been exfoliating a puked on sponge for more than a month. FML

#6629072
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8361) - you deserved it (25894)

On 12/06/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by Delicious (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I bought $300 worth of climbing equipment because I had lost mine six months ago, I hadn't gone to the climbing gym since I'd lost it. I went today because I was so excited to go climbing again. However, it turns out that I'd left my gear there, and it had been in the Lost and Found for the past six months. FML

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

#6951563
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12722) - you deserved it (3227)

On 12/26/2009 at 2:22am - intimacy - by boyfriendisatoss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of 2 years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#6908981
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18608) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/23/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by everybodysfool (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML

#6839284
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (3981)

On 12/20/2009 at 12:13am - money - by Fml37 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl I had a crush on for the past few months called me and wanted to tell me something. Excited, I agreed and we went out to dinner. She wanted to tell me she had been secretly seeing 'someone' for the past six months. FML

#6733753
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (3055)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:36am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally came home from a semester of college, and all my parents and sister can talk about is how bad my acne has gotten. FML

#6824006
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23968) - you deserved it (2467)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by honutattoo - United States (California)

Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML

#7180420
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8678) - you deserved it (19334)

On 01/06/2010 at 11:44am - work - by noluckwhatsoever (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

#8824133
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17688) - you deserved it (7871)

On 03/04/2010 at 2:41pm - misc - by dpod121 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19034) - you deserved it (5129)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was putting a wooden shelf into my new TV stand. Right before I put it in, I rested it on my leg. I then realized that the wood was of poor quality, and it gave me splinters. Now, I can't remove the splinters, because I can't find their exact location under my really hairy legs. FML

#10726824
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17257) - you deserved it (8040)

On 05/24/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by HairyLeggedItalian (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

#8634808
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18571) - you deserved it (3077)

On 02/25/2010 at 6:46am - misc - by SayWhat (woman) - United States (New York)



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