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Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39296) - you deserved it (2563)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46306) - you deserved it (7980)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

#20568650
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35260) - you deserved it (2330)

On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69199) - you deserved it (12188)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53380) - you deserved it (6566)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

#20627240
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50459) - you deserved it (11231)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

#20653026
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52984) - you deserved it (6696)

On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

#20625307
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54088) - you deserved it (3576)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML

#20619241
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46767) - you deserved it (3908)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45698) - you deserved it (11248)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45376) - you deserved it (13434)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49369) - you deserved it (4508)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39172) - you deserved it (12510)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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