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Today, is my 18th birthday. I call my parents and they tell me they found weed in the guest house and so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say "Happy Birthday." FML

#660638
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68433) - you deserved it (4741)

On 03/28/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by alrightsheryl - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ran into some friends from high school who had just gotten back from college. We were talking about what happened during our sophomore year. When it was my turn to tell them what I had been doing, all I could say was "Well, I started wearing V-Neck t-shirts and they're pretty comfortable." FML

#6840673
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9878) - you deserved it (26876)

On 12/20/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by StayedHome89 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML

#6836721
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (8549)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
79 comments

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

#8598142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24669) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend of two years told his friend that he decided a long time ago that he would never be faithful to a woman. I was sitting next to him. FML

#13496771
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31187) - you deserved it (3200)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23am - love - by sugar - United States (Texas)

Today, I showed my fiancé the darling Tinkerbell hoodie I'd bought myself during the weekend. Instead of liking it as I'd hoped, he told me my childish wardrobe was embarrassing, and he wasn't going to be seen in public with me until I wore something different. FML

#8922378
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12712) - you deserved it (50217)

On 03/08/2010 at 4:35pm - love - by Crystal (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML

#12316172
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29068) - you deserved it (2474)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by Amandajean32 - United States

Today, my math teacher brought his laptop to tally up all our scores for our report card. He then displayed the results on a big screen in front of the whole class. The ones who failed were marked yellow. I was the only one marked yellow. FML

#15025118
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27946) - you deserved it (20183)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by thestudent (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I got a really bad sunburn on my face while at the lake. Not to worry, though; my friends made me feel better by saying, "It takes the attention away from your acne." FML

#17482360
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29962) - you deserved it (3827)

On 08/15/2011 at 5:38pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

#17627414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (2861)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by RhuLynette - United Kingdom

Today, I had to dig into my savings to help my parents pay for their divorce. FML

#15479881
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46927) - you deserved it (4034)

On 03/25/2011 at 7:55am - misc - by Ineedjustice03 - Singapore

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML

#16314169
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (3049)

On 05/23/2011 at 3:33pm - health - by Catherine - United States (Georgia)



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