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Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44752) - you deserved it (6522)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44849) - you deserved it (5218)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48767) - you deserved it (5402)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36546) - you deserved it (2433)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42362) - you deserved it (6155)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30101) - you deserved it (5464)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell flat on my ass while running for the subway. Made it on only to find out that it was standing by for ten minutes. I then got to ride all the way to work with a train full of people who watched me fall. FML

#3586
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18220) - you deserved it (3015)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:30am - work - by Weter - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44972) - you deserved it (5863)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I phoned up my bank's customer service department. I waited eleven minutes on hold with the lovely music, and when a woman finally picked up, I ran out of phone credit. FML

#582
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19659) - you deserved it (2374)

On 12/24/2008 at 12:56am - money - by Colin - Sent from mobile version

Today, for the Superbowl halftime show, my mom was blasting the TV, dancing, and singing along to Bruce Springsteen in front of me and my boyfriend. FML

#4751
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17357) - you deserved it (6150)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Embarrassed daughter.. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going shopping with a friend. I got up to get off the train and landed on my ass. Not only had I walked into the metal bar, I'd broken my $800 glasses, and the train doors had closed, with my friend on the other side of the doors. FML

#5444000
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (9975)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by b. - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was our wedding anniversary. My husband takes me and our young son to a family-style chain restaurant. Hoping for a little romance, I ask him what he's excited about in our future, and he says how we shouldn't eat out like this anymore so we can afford to pay our income taxes. FML

#5453638
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26885) - you deserved it (3849)

On 09/24/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by frenchfrypotater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss' sink. FML

#5570126
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29139) - you deserved it (4460)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by never_ending_hangover (woman) - United States (California)



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