Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML

#9105957
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6474) - you deserved it (26649)

On 03/15/2010 at 4:12pm - misc - by katharine (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while tubing down the river, we stopped for lunch. I accidentally left my shoes on the sand when we left. I had to walk two miles through dense woods with no trail and no shoes. FML

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

#10446068
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6543) - you deserved it (47575)

On 05/10/2010 at 1:28am - work - by drewig - United States (California)

Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don't have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML

#12957316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23052) - you deserved it (2918)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by arose - United States

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

#10539728
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (2329)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:09am - health - by bitten (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was going to meet my friend at a concert. I got there before her, so I went in to check out the local bands that were playing before the headliner. When she got there, I went just outside the building to give her a ticket. The security guards wouldn't let me back in. She went in anyway. FML

#12850151
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (6179)

On 09/01/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by deserted - Sent from mobile version

Today, the alarm clock downstairs has been going off since 3am. The apartment belongs to two other students. They've gone home. Only 3 more days left to go. FML

#14449121
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21212) - you deserved it (1895)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

#14450678
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23008) - you deserved it (4443)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by klyoung5 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends ranted on about how I am such a crappy girlfriend and how all of his friends don't like me. I just spent over $200 on a surprise party that I invited them all to last weekend. FML

#14597219
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25463) - you deserved it (3118)

On 01/16/2011 at 1:50am - misc - by me - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the nursing home I work at, and my boss asked me if I'm serious about my job, telling me that I've been acting strange and not working hard enough. She wants to drug test me. The real reason I'm not 100% is because I have a stomach ulcer from the stress of working there. FML

#14483355
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23326) - you deserved it (2190)

On 01/06/2011 at 7:21am - work - by sick (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML

#14541477
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26800) - you deserved it (6856)

On 01/11/2011 at 2:31am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

#14639057
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (2364)

On 01/19/2011 at 1:54pm - work - by peachesthepigeon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

#20057702
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6389) - you deserved it (20233)

On 09/04/2012 at 6:02pm - misc - by CantPublish - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: