Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML

#6952779
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (2415)

On 12/26/2009 at 4:10am - misc - by mothapuka (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I looked sad. I told him that I found out a co-worker died over the weekend and I failed my final exam. He then informed me that my toilet was clogged again, that he had a lot of work to do, and left. I have to find a plunger. FML

#6760578
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24167) - you deserved it (2659)

On 12/15/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Scat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was setting up comcast cable boxes for my house. I had the packaging everywhere when I finished. Looking admirably at my job, I backed out my door, and stepped on bubble wrap, scaring myself. I flailed, fell, reached out, grabbing one of the cable wires. I pulled the cable box and my modem off. FML

#7099836
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8274) - you deserved it (18348)

On 01/02/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by cmilla (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after the two week winter break, I went back to school to find that the bookbag that I'd left in my car was covered in some creepy, pink gooey stuff. Under the freezing conditions, my lotion had exploded all over my notes and bag. FML

#7150726
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8803) - you deserved it (18697)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by bandcamp926 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked to my car to find a window smashed in. Lucky for me, nothing was stolen. It did, however, rain all morning. FML

#7397995
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (2016)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:45pm - misc - by russty (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

#7351038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20982) - you deserved it (8324)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by RyanSmithN (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

#8741941
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21394) - you deserved it (2839)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:30am - animals - by mav3rick91 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from the police saying they found my stolen car. Not only did I not know my car was stolen, but it was completely stripped. No tires or doors left, and the engine was taken apart. FML

#8331359
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (1886)

On 02/16/2010 at 4:37am - money - by troyrm85 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

#8653612
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17190) - you deserved it (3639)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by Katrina641 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

#8074818
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17671) - you deserved it (5209)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)

Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML

#8880583
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7472) - you deserved it (18119)

On 03/06/2010 at 10:56pm - work - by Maxx (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15715) - you deserved it (2203)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -

Today, I realized that the only things I gained from my masters programs are more debt and the knowledge that you can use a semicolon in a list. FML

#8437472
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18713) - you deserved it (4810)

On 02/19/2010 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: