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Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

#20877954
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40949) - you deserved it (6409)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21339) - you deserved it (47926)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45515) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59770) - you deserved it (4560)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

#20933266
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44924) - you deserved it (20140)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

#20989004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53435) - you deserved it (4622)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49791) - you deserved it (4501)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38431) - you deserved it (3510)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36886) - you deserved it (11967)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41100) - you deserved it (12864)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

#21027337
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46952) - you deserved it (7327)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML

#21071018
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38471) - you deserved it (13587)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:31am - misc - by ThatGuyWithFMLs (man) - Japan (Osaka)



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