Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to evening Mass. I later found that sometime between entering the church and receiving Communion, someone had snatched my iPhone straight out of my handbag. FML

#17776141
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24002) - you deserved it (4774)

On 09/18/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

#19998359
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (1369)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm - work - by Pizzaguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while in Holland, I lost the bag with my passport, debit and credit cards, license, and camera. I froze my accounts and filled out the paperwork for a new passport. My bag was found the second time I went to the police, with everything in it. Now my accounts are frozen for the 3 weeks I'm here. FML

#16562666
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31225) - you deserved it (6597)

On 06/08/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by misc (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I asked to change my major at the college I'm transferring to in the fall. Instead of letting me change my major, they withdrew my acceptance. FML

#16486485
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32268) - you deserved it (4146)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:34pm - misc - by transfer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML

#19378087
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16966) - you deserved it (9391)

On 03/30/2012 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a Youtube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML

#16377162
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26451) - you deserved it (3296)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by moron - United States

Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML

#18560228
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22619) - you deserved it (2021)

On 12/20/2011 at 7:46am - health - by ouch (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

#17506977
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20907) - you deserved it (3858)

On 08/18/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by upset room mate - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent an hour cleaning my already-clean house to avoid any form of conversation with my boyfriend. FML

#19071135
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9079) - you deserved it (23107)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:50am - love - by kiwi023 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

#18782870
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22273) - you deserved it (2145)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:14am - work - by me_the_maniak - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML

#18295282
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (3668)

On 11/20/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by NoThanksGrandma (woman) -

Today, I had to give a speech as part of my campaign for school captain. I was rather happy with it and so I told another candidate my speech. Apparently it was a good idea as minutes later that same candidate stole my entire speech, leaving me looking like a complete idiot. FML

#20058690
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (33516)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

#19309374
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22184) - you deserved it (4950)

On 03/19/2012 at 7:50pm - money - by moneycatious (woman) - United States (Washington)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: