Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML

#6952779
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25522) - you deserved it (2399)

On 12/26/2009 at 4:10am - misc - by mothapuka (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I looked outside and I saw that my new car had been snowed on. Sadly the snow had frozen onto the car, so I spent the entire day getting it off. I came inside. By 8pm, my car had snow all over it again, and this time I left the window open. FML

#7016901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7382) - you deserved it (32636)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by FMLimsomad (man) - United States

Today, I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I put my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML

#7386415
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10946) - you deserved it (24082)

On 01/16/2010 at 9:35pm - misc - by VeeDubDisaster (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

#7360407
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6722) - you deserved it (33991)

On 01/15/2010 at 4:27pm - misc - by stephiexbabexx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

#7520027
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20197) - you deserved it (2354)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Moondoggie_ggk69 (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I walked to my car to find a window smashed in. Lucky for me, nothing was stolen. It did, however, rain all morning. FML

#7397995
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (1920)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:45pm - misc - by russty (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20338) - you deserved it (5283)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17806) - you deserved it (7182)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, ignoring the unspoken rule of not entering the bus when the driver's not inside, I went in while he was taking a break. As I stepped inside, he reached in the window and pressed the "close-door" button. It closed on my hand. Everyone at the bus stop laughed as I yelped in pain. FML

#7253458
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6459) - you deserved it (24345)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by regrub (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

#8741941
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20653) - you deserved it (2750)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:30am - animals - by mav3rick91 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

#8653612
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16923) - you deserved it (3609)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by Katrina641 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

#8074818
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16390) - you deserved it (4991)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)

Today, after my first flight landed late, I burned out my lungs sprinting full speed for 10 minutes to catch my next flight. The gate number on my ticket was wrong. It had been changed to one right next to where I had originally pulled up to. FML

#8501700
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (3194)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by mad flyer - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: