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Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML

by NotDrunk / 09/11/2012 at 2:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a busy afternoon taking care of the kids, I was feeling really down about only being a mom these days, and I was hoping my husband would make me feel better when he got off work. In the middle of cuddling, he called me "mom." FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 4:34pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I got my laptop back after waiting weeks for it to be fixed. It turns out that they didn't fix it; they dusted it off, held it for a few days, and sent it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 1:02pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to give a speech as part of my campaign for school captain. I was rather happy with it and so I told another candidate my speech. Apparently it was a good idea as minutes later that same candidate stole my entire speech, leaving me looking like a complete idiot. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 9:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

by firstdategonebad / 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

by Ohwhy / 10/27/2012 at 7:53am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I saw a van in our car park with "Hurlz Wagon" painted on its side. Laughing, I told the customer who owned it that I loved the name, and I asked was there a funny vomit story behind it. She didn't laugh, and told me it was her family name. FML

by big mouth / 09/26/2012 at 7:40am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work

Today, days after I broke up with my girlfriend, my dad tried to make her feel better by inviting her to our family BBQ next weekend. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 12:50pm / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Love

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

by Whytetrash / 06/20/2013 at 2:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML

by hellbound / 07/12/2013 at 12:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML

by really? / 09/22/2013 at 10:24pm / United States / Love

Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML

by what_a_loner / 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous