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Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35032) - you deserved it (6008)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML

#20560431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38260) - you deserved it (9663)

On 03/26/2013 at 12:15am - love - by ShouldBeSingleSoon (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

#20584642
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14305) - you deserved it (82705)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I just remembered that I changed my Gmail display name to "Rice Ball" out of privacy-paranoia a while back. I've been using this same email to apply to several professional jobs. FML

#20592754
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16810) - you deserved it (37467)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by geeshock1987 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

#20627066
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41876) - you deserved it (16084)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:28am - health - by msarosi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, days after I broke up with my girlfriend, my dad tried to make her feel better by inviting her to our family BBQ next weekend. FML

#20715362
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45049) - you deserved it (5125)

On 06/09/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43472) - you deserved it (3052)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

#20872459
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44356) - you deserved it (6495)

On 09/08/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML

#20961117
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31188) - you deserved it (11649)

On 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by what_a_loner - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22644) - you deserved it (38089)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

#21301160
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (2697)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:35am - animals - by blindsparrow - United States (California)

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36519) - you deserved it (3004)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML

#21314908
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18218) - you deserved it (41379)

On 12/10/2014 at 7:59am - love - by mastel07 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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