Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML

#16817769
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11088) - you deserved it (47479)

On 06/23/2011 at 2:56pm - health - by run4fun (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while at the mall I opened a bathroom stall thinking nobody was in there. The door just didn't close properly. I hit an elderly woman in the head. FML

#15464639
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25122) - you deserved it (9854)

On 03/24/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by FckMyLife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML

#16929999
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34992) - you deserved it (3463)

On 07/01/2011 at 12:15am - health - by nico (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

#17948621
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23809) - you deserved it (4563)

On 10/10/2011 at 12:13am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States

Today, on the school bus, I rapped on a window in an attempt to get my friend's attention. A guy sitting behind me took this as an opportunity to shove my face into the window, breaking my nose. FML

#16146603
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34172) - you deserved it (5164)

On 05/12/2011 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

#15931079
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34094) - you deserved it (3594)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

#9544188
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37532) - you deserved it (8180)

On 04/01/2010 at 4:28am - health - by worried (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. He continued to tell me how he had to piss. We carried on this conversation for about 10 minutes, then I realized that was the most interesting conversation I have had with him in weeks. FML

#17352366
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27666) - you deserved it (6030)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:47am - love - by Cow_girl_cutie - United States (California)

Today, I was fired. For "lack of attention to details", specifically spelling errors. My now ex-boss misspelled the name of his own company on my severance agreement. FML

#18403408
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27987) - you deserved it (3176)

On 12/01/2011 at 1:55pm - work - by JadeC - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML

#20067208
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20177) - you deserved it (2418)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:47am - misc - by NotDrunk (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was directing traffic at work during one of the hottest days of the year. Not only do I have to stand in the heat and exhaust fumes for minimum wage, I also had to endure people asking me "Aren't you hot?" as they drove past me in their air conditioned cars. FML

#17233240
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32642) - you deserved it (3495)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:01pm - work - by Sarah - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a $50 iTunes card for my birthday. I immediately sat down at my computer and starting buying all my newest favorites. Then I realized I never redeemed my card so the $50 was all charged to my account. FML

#17067596
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11204) - you deserved it (50685)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:09pm - money - by brokeaf - United States

Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML

#19295579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (1887)

On 03/17/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by CutePenguin (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: