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Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

#20539190
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9129) - you deserved it (46574)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:43am - misc - by PeeLeg (woman) -

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

#20558609
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (88391) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm - animals - by BaliTheDog - France

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35767) - you deserved it (3486)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38490) - you deserved it (2682)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

#20561915
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37669) - you deserved it (17496)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39928) - you deserved it (4236)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37572) - you deserved it (3532)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69328) - you deserved it (12197)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77713) - you deserved it (9358)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

#20609675
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54262) - you deserved it (3952)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML

#20619241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48263) - you deserved it (4040)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

#20655447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59411) - you deserved it (5357)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML

#20620111
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64234) - you deserved it (13447)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -



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