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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML

#19053682
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27908) - you deserved it (1949)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:02am - work - by That_guy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML

#19295579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (1625)

On 03/17/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by CutePenguin (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML

#18917374
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25280) - you deserved it (4012)

On 01/26/2012 at 4:57pm - work - by StupidNurse (woman) - Germany

Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML

#19556689
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21763) - you deserved it (2621)

On 05/01/2012 at 1:14am - love - by monkeywrench (woman) - United States

Today, after weeks of sorting, inspecting, and waiting, my high school's yearbooks were distributed. I'd searched carefully for photo errors and was proud to say there were none. That is, until someone told me that a boy on the last page was flipping the camera the bird. FML

#19642956
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17995) - you deserved it (4309)

On 05/18/2012 at 5:50pm - misc - by ooh cat - United States (California)

Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML

#19956354
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (2879)

On 07/18/2012 at 8:41pm - work - by FOXYgrandpa441 - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML

#19769607
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21921) - you deserved it (2770)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

#20113670
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24216) - you deserved it (2356)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my laptop back after waiting weeks for it to be fixed. It turns out that they didn't fix it; they dusted it off, held it for a few days, and sent it back. FML

#19985315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21342) - you deserved it (1624)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

#20135226
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21895) - you deserved it (1858)

On 10/27/2012 at 7:53am - misc - by Ohwhy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, at work, I saw a van in our car park with "Hurlz Wagon" painted on its side. Laughing, I told the customer who owned it that I loved the name, and I asked was there a funny vomit story behind it. She didn't laugh, and told me it was her family name. FML

#20089281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17682) - you deserved it (8629)

On 09/26/2012 at 7:40am - work - by big mouth (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found out that my dad, thinking it was an advertisement, threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

#20454916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35458) - you deserved it (2398)

On 01/12/2013 at 4:52am - misc - by gdog10122 - United States

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35036) - you deserved it (6008)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)



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