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Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML

#19907709
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (3614)

On 07/08/2012 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

#20103084
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19097) - you deserved it (1672)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by sharky (man) - United States

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

#20057350
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7570) - you deserved it (49722)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

#20026624
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21247) - you deserved it (2106)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by CollegeBound (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML

#20085651
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17574) - you deserved it (2975)

On 09/23/2012 at 8:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

#19823688
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (3029)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:40am - love - by rink.attendant.6 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (2422)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

#20065231
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20185) - you deserved it (2095)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm - work - by the bad artist - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28689) - you deserved it (6153)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (36070)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41004) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20590) - you deserved it (7011)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

#20450098
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10203) - you deserved it (60166)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)



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