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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

#10166473
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24022) - you deserved it (15240)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm - misc - by Michelle (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML

#19748854
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14447) - you deserved it (3486)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:17am - work - by Swivel - Singapore

Today, after weeks of watching car after car of solo drivers go by in the carpool lane every day, I decided to join them. I'm the one who got pulled over. FML

#17756140
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8149) - you deserved it (27636)

On 09/16/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML

#17668770
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18520) - you deserved it (2706)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by Grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I was trying to listen to a phone message I'd received. I was excited because I'd been waiting for the coaches to call me back for tryouts for a week now. Trying to figure out how to listen to it, I ended up deleting it. FML

#16176311
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13966) - you deserved it (23763)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:17pm - misc - by ihatelife (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7351) - you deserved it (61728)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I checked over my notes from yesterday's midterm review so I could study for the test on Monday. It seems I was so exhausted, I'd done nothing but scribble unintelligibly all over the first page. FML

#19109454
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12780) - you deserved it (5513)

On 02/18/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my garage was flooded. Everything was ruined. My garage also happens to be my study, in which my entire art coursework was drying. My exam is tomorrow and all I have to hand in is a pile of mushy paper. FML

#16042714
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28386) - you deserved it (3089)

On 05/04/2011 at 9:47am - work - by lottielondon (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had a job interview. I have major OCD, and I had to sit in a room with a man covered in cat hair, struggling to even survive for an hour and a half. FML

#19368838
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16460) - you deserved it (3274)

On 03/29/2012 at 7:13am - misc - by toryzhere - Canada

Today, I was called an 'unhelpful little bitch' by a customer, after I informed her that we couldn't order a pair of shoes she wanted from the company in her size because it's a discontinued model. This little tirade continued for another few minutes, with her insulting me and my intelligence. FML

#19014850
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17872) - you deserved it (1483)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by Unhelpful (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

#20093311
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14095) - you deserved it (1379)

On 09/29/2012 at 7:16am - love - by kfenton - United States

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

#19201206
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15398) - you deserved it (3327)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:19am - misc - by Urinal Fresh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

#17579253
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20850) - you deserved it (2863)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm - work - by OfficeSlave (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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