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Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

#14528961
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18510) - you deserved it (6347)

On 01/10/2011 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

#20057702
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6351) - you deserved it (20147)

On 09/04/2012 at 6:02pm - misc - by CantPublish - United States

Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML

#14548248
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9149) - you deserved it (20056)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a restaurant with a few other couples, and my boyfriend started to rant on how "all the hot chicks are dumb." Apparently, I'm either ugly or stupid. FML

#10017161
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28922) - you deserved it (4756)

On 04/20/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by uglyorstupid (woman) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, I wore my expensive new white jacket to work, thinking it would be a nice change from my usual black. I managed to lean in printer ink. FML

#16771657
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (11657)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:33pm - misc - by drycleanplz - Reserved

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

#19335625
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9802) - you deserved it (27266)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:42pm - health - by Anon - United States

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

#10166473
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (15735)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm - misc - by Michelle (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

#19637548
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23258) - you deserved it (1786)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:41pm - misc - by Unhappymothersday - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

#19002086
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18481) - you deserved it (4506)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7859) - you deserved it (63765)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

#17697276
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28106) - you deserved it (7043)

On 09/08/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

#19998359
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23709) - you deserved it (1365)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm - work - by Pizzaguy (man) - United States (Illinois)



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