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Today, I got a report telling me how I had handled a mystery shopper at work. In this report I found out that instead of saying "Thank you" I had said "Have a nice day, take care." This kept me from getting my $150 bonus. FML

#4724946
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41921) - you deserved it (2510)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:43am - work - by elipses (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I skipped class to take the girl I like to the airport, and after giving her a goodbye hug I kissed her on the cheek. She laughed and said "Maybe we should discuss some boundaries when I get back." FML

#5030993
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41858) - you deserved it (7579)

On 09/03/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by strikeout (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML

#5719092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (3548)

On 10/08/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by Irony (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought a cool new pair of sunglasses. I wore them today, and all day I kept getting comments about how much I looked like Ozzy Osbourne and John Lennon. I'm a girl. FML

#4152950
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (12712)

On 07/30/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by poop_mcqueen (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML

#6181842
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36312) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/06/2009 at 12:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to my little cousin's school to pick her up and it happened to be my old elementary school. I saw my old teacher and went up to say hi, and after a few minutes she goes "Aren't you the girl who's dad always came in drunk on parent's day?" Nice to know that's how I'm remembered. FML

#6714593
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/11/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by Childhood (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

#6832794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29664) - you deserved it (2729)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by neednewfriends (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML

#8748145
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26897) - you deserved it (3541)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:09pm - kids - by moneyman22 - United States (New York)

Today, I was on Craigslist looking for a new guitar. I found the diamond earrings and necklace set I gave to my girlfriend last year. She wants 50 bucks for them. FML

#7821879
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28780) - you deserved it (2345)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

#14281367
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22244) - you deserved it (6201)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML

#8185131
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12308) - you deserved it (37999)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by Pushover (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML

#12264713
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36618) - you deserved it (3957)

On 08/02/2010 at 11:37am - love - by ihateumicheal (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML

#9092499
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32778) - you deserved it (2779)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:34am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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