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Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML

#20085651
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17538) - you deserved it (2973)

On 09/23/2012 at 8:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

#19823688
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21266) - you deserved it (3028)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:40am - love - by rink.attendant.6 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16672) - you deserved it (2422)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

#20065231
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20123) - you deserved it (2092)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm - work - by the bad artist - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28659) - you deserved it (6152)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26408) - you deserved it (35500)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39621) - you deserved it (4642)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

#20450098
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10186) - you deserved it (60126)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML

#20479103
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32164) - you deserved it (1974)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35312) - you deserved it (3863)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26253) - you deserved it (16823)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12953) - you deserved it (40650)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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