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Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML

#20522936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35698) - you deserved it (4210)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

#20515924
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36735) - you deserved it (10099)

On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)

Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML

#20550428
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28291) - you deserved it (8223)

On 03/19/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML

#20532334
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43707) - you deserved it (3648)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37787) - you deserved it (4625)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML

#20535549
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34696) - you deserved it (2152)

On 03/08/2013 at 5:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup for me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's because he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML

#20543666
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30511) - you deserved it (10982)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

#20545967
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9680) - you deserved it (64874)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38212) - you deserved it (2667)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

#20561915
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37344) - you deserved it (17395)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39204) - you deserved it (22626)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45720) - you deserved it (3206)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States



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