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Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML

Today, I started my new internship at a vet clinic. By the end of the day I had: been peed on, scratched, forced to stuff a dead dog into a plastic bag, thrown up and almost passed out. I need to rethink my future career. FML

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

#20980593
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43894) - you deserved it (4032)

On 12/04/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML

#21162381
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43608) - you deserved it (3960)

On 06/04/2014 at 1:07am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

#21184159
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41278) - you deserved it (4828)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

#21299716
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40257) - you deserved it (6483)

On 11/15/2014 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Slow_Walker (woman) - Georgia (Dushet'is Raioni)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33600) - you deserved it (5511)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36709) - you deserved it (2362)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML

#21300330
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31559) - you deserved it (2305)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

#21331631
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39142) - you deserved it (2979)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML

Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML

#1198
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13552) - you deserved it (21125)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:43am - health - by Mr. Shawzy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML

#94421
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7931) - you deserved it (44993)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:44am - animals - by Chubsley (man) - United States (Virginia)



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