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Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

#10166473
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (15729)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm - misc - by Michelle (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

#19637548
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23241) - you deserved it (1786)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:41pm - misc - by Unhappymothersday - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

#19002086
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18454) - you deserved it (4503)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7846) - you deserved it (63724)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

#17697276
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (7037)

On 09/08/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23332) - you deserved it (7564)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

#19998359
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (1360)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm - work - by Pizzaguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while in Holland, I lost the bag with my passport, debit and credit cards, license, and camera. I froze my accounts and filled out the paperwork for a new passport. My bag was found the second time I went to the police, with everything in it. Now my accounts are frozen for the 3 weeks I'm here. FML

#16562666
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (6543)

On 06/08/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by misc (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I asked to change my major at the college I'm transferring to in the fall. Instead of letting me change my major, they withdrew my acceptance. FML

#16486485
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (4138)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:34pm - misc - by transfer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a Youtube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML

#16377162
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26355) - you deserved it (3290)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by moron - United States

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

#17506977
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20110) - you deserved it (3770)

On 08/18/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by upset room mate - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent an hour cleaning my already-clean house to avoid any form of conversation with my boyfriend. FML

#19071135
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9056) - you deserved it (23033)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:50am - love - by kiwi023 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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