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Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

#20561915
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37598) - you deserved it (17475)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38667) - you deserved it (4124)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37504) - you deserved it (3525)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77584) - you deserved it (9353)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44910) - you deserved it (5373)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

#20609675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54181) - you deserved it (3945)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

#20655447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59297) - you deserved it (5353)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML

#20620111
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64115) - you deserved it (13430)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

#20656960
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53919) - you deserved it (9064)

On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35528) - you deserved it (16422)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

#20701422
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62252) - you deserved it (5907)

On 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm - intimacy - by Kay (woman) - India (Andhra Pradesh)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26085) - you deserved it (40519)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48185) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States



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