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Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML

#7974349
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (3027)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

#8578589
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20234) - you deserved it (10039)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by itsawonderfulife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

#14086848
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28259) - you deserved it (3053)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:08pm - money - by unemployable (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my extremely loud and nocturnal flatmate phoned me to tell me excitedly that he got an accordion for his birthday. FML

#8994510
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23641) - you deserved it (2574)

On 03/11/2010 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hillingdon)

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

#13812395
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (10244)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:06am - love - by sayno (woman) - Switzerland

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

#13930186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22317) - you deserved it (3900)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML

#12938106
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31001) - you deserved it (5711)

On 09/06/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by newdad (man) - United States (California)

Today, not only did I miss my bus by seconds, I also saw the bus driver smirking as he drove past me in the middle of the Canadian winter. FML

#14233418
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29208) - you deserved it (3339)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:20am - misc - by peanutface - Canada

Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try and catch my flight. Two trailer accidents, two construction zones, three detours, and one police escort later, the airline wouldn't let me on the plane. FML

#15651361
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33756) - you deserved it (3119)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:13pm - money - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddently interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML

#14881979
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7385) - you deserved it (47394)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:46pm - misc - by superdriver - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

#15784060
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24537) - you deserved it (4455)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:35pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, we received our honeymoon itinerary. Our travel agent booked our flight to Punta Cana correctly. Too bad she booked us a hotel in Orlando, Florida. FML

#18851649
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25907) - you deserved it (2191)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:44am - misc - by handymandy - United States



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