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Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46151) - you deserved it (7630)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33711) - you deserved it (2551)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML

#1823
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13191) - you deserved it (4981)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by JackAttack - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I fell flat on my ass while running for the subway. Made it on only to find out that it was standing by for ten minutes. I then got to ride all the way to work with a train full of people who watched me fall. FML

#3586
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16380) - you deserved it (2783)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:30am - work - by Weter - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I phoned up my bank's customer service department. I waited eleven minutes on hold with the lovely music, and when a woman finally picked up, I ran out of phone credit. FML

#582
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19372) - you deserved it (2353)

On 12/24/2008 at 12:56am - money - by Colin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

#830447
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10518) - you deserved it (44520)

On 04/06/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by rmo1776 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was going shopping with a friend. I got up to get off the train and landed on my ass. Not only had I walked into the metal bar, I'd broken my $800 glasses, and the train doors had closed, with my friend on the other side of the doors. FML

#5444000
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (9709)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by b. - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss' sink. FML

#5570126
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26797) - you deserved it (4238)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by never_ending_hangover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that when the pest control man said that we may see a few more bugs in the next few days, what he meant was "your kitchen will be covered in them." It's the day before Thanksgiving and I have several people invited over for the Holiday. FML

#6441818
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (2405)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by buggedout (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML

#6440907
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (23697)

On 11/24/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by md - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I attended a focus group. Since I've been unemployed for a month now I thought the $60 would come in handy. By the time I finished someone had broken into my car, stole my GPS and MP3 player. FML

#6236488
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (2836)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:16pm - money - by unlucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we finally got our first electricity bill for our new flat. I was shocked to see that we had used £60 worth of electricity in 6 weeks. Then I noticed that it was only an estimate, and that we could read the meter ourselves to correct the amount. We now have to pay nearly £400. FML

#6038057
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22615) - you deserved it (6795)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

#6507762
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10734) - you deserved it (22315)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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