Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was shopping, and tried on a skirt that was a size smaller than usual, thinking that I would fit in. Not only did it not fit, neither I nor the sales assistant could get it off me, because the zip got stuck. She had to cut me out of it. FML

#19709937
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9309) - you deserved it (25030)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by LtlCheeseburger (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a Youtube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML

#16377162
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27888) - you deserved it (3432)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by moron - United States

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

#18502844
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29089) - you deserved it (2825)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)

Today, it's Friday the 13th. I've never been superstitious, and I figured it would be a normal day, that is until my hot water heater exploded and rained water into my downstairs neighbour's apartment for two hours before anyone noticed. FML

#18795817
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21521) - you deserved it (2015)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after finally returning to my house after over a year overseas, I found that my neighbours built a wall covering the only window in my bedroom. Not only is my room eternally musty and pitch black, but the council won't accept my complaint, because apparently my window was illegally built. FML

#19072736
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22533) - you deserved it (1938)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by BLAH (woman) - Philippines

Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML

#19637949
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20606) - you deserved it (2258)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:02pm - work - by poseidon5213 - United States (California)

Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML

#18560228
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (2027)

On 12/20/2011 at 7:46am - health - by ouch (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

#19333832
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18006) - you deserved it (3511)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML

#19032094
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24733) - you deserved it (2441)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Falcon - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out I have to give my father-in-law back the football tickets he gave me for my birthday. Why? His girlfriend decided she wanted to go. He didn't get me a different gift. FML

#18434015
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24088) - you deserved it (2086)

On 12/05/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Sal (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was diagnosed with vertigo. It's like being perpetually drunk, but without any of the fun bits. FML

#18725965
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (2131)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:51pm - health - by aylla - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my husband and I went on vacation. We got lost and had to ask the locals for directions to our hotel. Neither of us could understand their accents, and we ended up wandering around blindly for hours until we made it back on our own. FML

#19578116
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9647) - you deserved it (18028)

On 05/05/2012 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

#18782870
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22357) - you deserved it (2150)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:14am - work - by me_the_maniak - India (Maharashtra)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: