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Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen. FML

#21465
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (2991)

On 02/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by NoWedding (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML

#4525177
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44518) - you deserved it (7872)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by ragsy (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my first day working for a real estate company. just as I sat in my car my pants ripped hugely from my crotch all the way to the top of my pants and three inches wide. I was wearing a thong and we were on our way to show him an open house. FML

#3427303
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39368) - you deserved it (8812)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I colored my hair. It was supposed to turn out blonde, but it became more a mix of red and brown and blonde patches. When I tried coloring everything back, a green tint was added. My hair is at the moment red, brown, blonde and green. FML

#1392760
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39832) - you deserved it (36835)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:39pm - misc - by Fmyhair (woman) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

#13746
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45908) - you deserved it (3357)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by klv8 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML

#4053861
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44663) - you deserved it (6691)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Deadfish (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I participated in the school play. My family came to see me in the production. All was going well when my dad came up to me and said, "Where the fuck were you? The show sucked." Thanks dad for not recognizing your own daughter. FML

Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML

#6163003
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33622) - you deserved it (5185)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:41am - love - by dumper - United States

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

#6131702
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10469) - you deserved it (26688)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Lovestupid (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I started talking to a friend about how he needs to stop overreacting and getting angry very easily. He kicked sand up in the air, and it came back into his eyes. He started getting angry, and when I told him this is what I was talking about, he hit me in the nose. FML

#6268731
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29352) - you deserved it (7185)

On 11/12/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by angrymadman3542342 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML

#6655081
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9006) - you deserved it (36546)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by Alison (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

#7870417
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23976) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:40am - health - by littlespoon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I locked my keys in my car and called AAA. He got out to take a look at my car, and he locked himself out of his own car with his tools inside. It took us 40 minutes with a screwdriver and stick to unlock his car and 40 seconds to unlock mine after. 9 hours later, I found my extra key. FML

#7302143
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (5709)

On 01/12/2010 at 4:51pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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