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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML

#19877317
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you deserved it (2146)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by plzdontclapme -

Today, I found out that the mysterious and creepy weirdo guy that continuously sends me messages on Facebook is my manager at my new job. FML

#20060179
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (1873)

On 09/06/2012 at 7:15am - work - by Jessica S. (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21089) - you deserved it (7464)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26475) - you deserved it (7693)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

#20443243
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22647) - you deserved it (1989)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

#20488361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (2283)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34275) - you deserved it (3872)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11596) - you deserved it (42242)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43536) - you deserved it (20858)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

#20697878
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40381) - you deserved it (14787)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by nbj10 (man) - Singapore

Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML

#20863852
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43603) - you deserved it (15148)

On 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

#20866346
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38530) - you deserved it (2912)

On 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by depressed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

#20891806
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40051) - you deserved it (4249)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:21pm - kids - by soannoyed - United States



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