Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss' sink. FML

#5570126
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26745) - you deserved it (4236)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by never_ending_hangover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that when the pest control man said that we may see a few more bugs in the next few days, what he meant was "your kitchen will be covered in them." It's the day before Thanksgiving and I have several people invited over for the Holiday. FML

#6441818
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24850) - you deserved it (2403)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by buggedout (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML

#6440907
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (23660)

On 11/24/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by md - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I attended a focus group. Since I've been unemployed for a month now I thought the $60 would come in handy. By the time I finished someone had broken into my car, stole my GPS and MP3 player. FML

#6236488
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23328) - you deserved it (2834)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:16pm - money - by unlucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we finally got our first electricity bill for our new flat. I was shocked to see that we had used £60 worth of electricity in 6 weeks. Then I noticed that it was only an estimate, and that we could read the meter ourselves to correct the amount. We now have to pay nearly £400. FML

#6038057
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (6789)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

#6507762
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10710) - you deserved it (22295)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend and I went to see our favorite band in concert. We walked at least a mile from our parking space and stood in line for two hours. My friend was supposed to have the tickets in her purse. She actually had, but she left her purse in the car. FML

#6626630
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22216) - you deserved it (4453)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by musiclover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML

#6507580
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17092) - you deserved it (3322)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by hawaiianlovechild - United States

Today, I bought a laptop so that I could have dirty video chats with my internet girlfriend. I got home only to find that the only place I can get a decent wifi signal is in front of my mom's room. FML

#6851938
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7139) - you deserved it (19124)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by thatguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I looked sad. I told him that I found out a co-worker died over the weekend and I failed my final exam. He then informed me that my toilet was clogged again, that he had a lot of work to do, and left. I have to find a plunger. FML

#6760578
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23986) - you deserved it (2650)

On 12/15/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Scat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was setting up comcast cable boxes for my house. I had the packaging everywhere when I finished. Looking admirably at my job, I backed out my door, and stepped on bubble wrap, scaring myself. I flailed, fell, reached out, grabbing one of the cable wires. I pulled the cable box and my modem off. FML

#7099836
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8229) - you deserved it (18249)

On 01/02/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by cmilla (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after the two week winter break, I went back to school to find that the bookbag that I'd left in my car was covered in some creepy, pink gooey stuff. Under the freezing conditions, my lotion had exploded all over my notes and bag. FML

#7150726
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8746) - you deserved it (18580)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by bandcamp926 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

#7351038
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20811) - you deserved it (8303)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by RyanSmithN (man) - United States (Florida)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: