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Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40586) - you deserved it (6930)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40960) - you deserved it (17002)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32838) - you deserved it (2638)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, our dishwasher door broke. My mom made me sit there for an hour straight, holding the door shut so it would work. FML

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

#21267650
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45416) - you deserved it (4327)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:48pm - health - by impure - United States

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34981) - you deserved it (3980)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

#21302177
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30788) - you deserved it (5062)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42754) - you deserved it (4332)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring 'cause he was so good looking. FML

#21322556
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35844) - you deserved it (4467)

On 12/23/2014 at 6:28am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

#21334608
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36505) - you deserved it (2699)

On 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35240) - you deserved it (3585)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

Today, it was the concert of my life. I had bought tickets the minute they went on sale, and I'd anxiously waited until the concert date. 30 minutes before the show, my friend got so drunk that we weren't allowed in, and I was stuck babysitting her all night in the hotel, completely missing the show. FML

#19566777
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (4232)

On 05/03/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by savanna (woman) - United States



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