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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

#20443243
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (1938)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

#20488361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28479) - you deserved it (2188)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33444) - you deserved it (3790)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11266) - you deserved it (41429)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42709) - you deserved it (20540)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML

#20863852
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42746) - you deserved it (14902)

On 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

#20866346
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35387) - you deserved it (2635)

On 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by depressed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40167) - you deserved it (4313)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52322) - you deserved it (4846)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43762) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I was sad, but the only thing my mom could say was, "You should have waited until I got him to mow the lawn." FML

#21083870
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41470) - you deserved it (6046)

On 03/11/2014 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17388) - you deserved it (66228)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40585) - you deserved it (6930)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)



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