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Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (3358)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44239) - you deserved it (3103)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37430) - you deserved it (3522)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

#20592968
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58089) - you deserved it (10493)

On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54994) - you deserved it (10596)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

#20609675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53726) - you deserved it (3925)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

#20656960
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53817) - you deserved it (9054)

On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML

#20620111
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64005) - you deserved it (13405)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

#20655447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59198) - you deserved it (5349)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35470) - you deserved it (16407)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28422) - you deserved it (38013)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

#20696604
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55188) - you deserved it (4509)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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