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Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43117) - you deserved it (4313)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48381) - you deserved it (3558)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36270) - you deserved it (3795)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (2645)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32994) - you deserved it (15439)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41577) - you deserved it (3796)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30036) - you deserved it (5213)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, like every month, the beautician spent 10 minutes removing the hairs from my stomach. I'm a girl. FML

#887
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21411) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML

#1823
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15477) - you deserved it (5442)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by JackAttack - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

#2762
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7046) - you deserved it (21991)

On 01/27/2009 at 3:10am - work - by duh - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I searched for free parking near my work for 30 minutes, trying to avoid paying $12 at a pay lot. I scored a spot, but 1 mile away from the office. I trekked through rain, cold, and got to work late. It was a long hard day, crawled back to my car, and had a $30 ticket on my windshield. FML

#5560693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10736) - you deserved it (36129)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the aquaintence congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. FML

#12057
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10069) - you deserved it (21837)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:40pm - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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