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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML

#19748854
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18180) - you deserved it (4022)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:17am - work - by Swivel - Singapore

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

#10448158
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29906) - you deserved it (7483)

On 05/10/2010 at 6:14am - money - by boring (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

#17697276
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28223) - you deserved it (7059)

On 09/08/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML

#17340796
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (8977)

On 08/02/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML

#17592683
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27367) - you deserved it (3747)

On 08/27/2011 at 4:12am - health - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was called an 'unhelpful little bitch' by a customer, after I informed her that we couldn't order a pair of shoes she wanted from the company in her size because it's a discontinued model. This little tirade continued for another few minutes, with her insulting me and my intelligence. FML

#19014850
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (2168)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by Unhelpful (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23486) - you deserved it (7578)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to evening Mass. I later found that sometime between entering the church and receiving Communion, someone had snatched my iPhone straight out of my handbag. FML

#17776141
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24077) - you deserved it (4787)

On 09/18/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the dentist. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML

#19393124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21241) - you deserved it (2587)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:59am - health - by bdogge99 - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke my arm, and posted a picture of my X-ray on Facebook to show everyone how bad the break is. Nobody even asked me if I was OK. FML

#18724146
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15066) - you deserved it (34664)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:27am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (2092)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was shopping, and tried on a skirt that was a size smaller than usual, thinking that I would fit in. Not only did it not fit, neither I nor the sales assistant could get it off me, because the zip got stuck. She had to cut me out of it. FML

#19709937
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9302) - you deserved it (25005)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by LtlCheeseburger (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a Youtube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML

#16377162
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (3428)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by moron - United States



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