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Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41479) - you deserved it (3052)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49817) - you deserved it (4505)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43707) - you deserved it (6335)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51360) - you deserved it (4991)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51449) - you deserved it (9640)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36353) - you deserved it (6302)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35330) - you deserved it (12195)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34074) - you deserved it (11873)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38061) - you deserved it (5532)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49255) - you deserved it (6079)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39598) - you deserved it (7004)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46018) - you deserved it (5311)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48269) - you deserved it (5582)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)



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