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Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11778) - you deserved it (1565)
On 05/24/2012 at 3:41am - money - by hunterjumper1212 - United States (California)
Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15272) - you deserved it (3357)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12778) - you deserved it (5285)
On 05/28/2012 at 11:36pm - misc - by SwimmingInFear - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my father, who's never played much part in my life, told me how proud he is of me. I choked back tears, and we hugged for the first time in years. Later, I choked back my rage when I saw he'd opened my mail and obviously planned on leeching my new-found SSI money off me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17630) - you deserved it (1188)
On 07/14/2012 at 12:46pm - money - by Natalie - United States (Florida)
Today, I was planning on enjoying my one day off work from the hospital, at home. I got a call saying I had to come in because my department was short-handed. I went in to find almost everyone there. Turns out it was a prank by my coworkers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17355) - you deserved it (1109)
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14390) - you deserved it (1346)
On 07/21/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by AussieG75 - United States (Florida)
Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6920) - you deserved it (16702)
On 06/14/2012 at 1:42pm - misc - by bad son - United States (California)
Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5531) - you deserved it (18555)
On 07/28/2012 at 6:15pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I was convinced I hadn't locked up properly when leaving work, and almost had a panic attack at the train station. I went all the way back into work, to find I had in fact locked up properly. It made me nearly two hours late home. This isn't the first time I've done this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12126) - you deserved it (6054)
On 07/18/2012 at 4:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16645) - you deserved it (2251)
On 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm - work - by friendlessatwork (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that my parents changed the code on our alarm system while they were out of town. The police could not verify I was their son, despite spending hours trying to get hold of them. They thought it was just another telemarketer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13565) - you deserved it (722)
On 09/23/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13237) - you deserved it (800)
On 08/20/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Cottagecheeseha (woman) - United States (California)
Today, our kids left for the weekend so that my wife and I could have some much-needed alone time. We've been fighting a lot recently and really need some time to have fun together. Now it turns out that she doesn't want to be around me because of the fighting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13179) - you deserved it (3650)
On 10/19/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by marriedtoacunt (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Friday 24 May 2013
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