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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

#6422914
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26823) - you deserved it (4864)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML

#6497714
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12346) - you deserved it (47367)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I did a 'dine and dash' and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

#7321652
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5655) - you deserved it (78921)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML

#13386499
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (3113)

On 10/10/2010 at 12:33am - love - by lightblue - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

#13930186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23168) - you deserved it (3981)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML

#13287891
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (2825)

On 10/02/2010 at 10:26am - work - by help me! - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML

#12792184
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (2946)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my husband is sleeping with my best friend. The best part? We all just signed a 12 month essentially non-breakable lease on a house together. FML

#14874004
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39748) - you deserved it (4896)

On 02/06/2011 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by cllutz (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother took 350 dollars from savings to go to a psychic. But it's okay though, because now I know I'm an "ancient soul from another dimension". An "ancient soul" who now has no money. FML

#17354584
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29557) - you deserved it (2975)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:49am - money - by Teen With No Money (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

#20472626
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10788) - you deserved it (38029)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36848) - you deserved it (6235)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

#20698016
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52104) - you deserved it (6373)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

#20702631
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55810) - you deserved it (7087)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by my_only_friend (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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