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Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

#21302935
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31421) - you deserved it (10207)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

#21392745
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32679) - you deserved it (3792)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:35am - intimacy - by bigmouthedmommy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

#489
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28751) - you deserved it (17684)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by AudreyUs - United States (California)

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

#1427
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25243) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:31am - misc - by Pakundo - Sent from mobile version

Today, was my first day working for a real estate company. just as I sat in my car my pants ripped hugely from my crotch all the way to the top of my pants and three inches wide. I was wearing a thong and we were on our way to show him an open house. FML

#3427303
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40249) - you deserved it (8941)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML

#3051182
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41793) - you deserved it (12962)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:47am - misc - by mk (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML

#1303608
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24988) - you deserved it (58482)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by fml (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

#3929257
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13649) - you deserved it (58497)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was offered to attend a Buddhist ceremony by one of my regular customers. Not wanting to offend the couple, I made an excuse about have a project for oceanography. Surprise, the husband is an oceanographer and wants to help me with my imaginary project. Karma much? FML

#5443877
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10612) - you deserved it (48903)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - work - by whatproject (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got a call from a prominent orchestra asking me to play with them. They were especially interested because I'm still in high school. I called to accept only to find out that my mother had already declined the offer for me because I "only" have a 3.7. FML

#5403553
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46300) - you deserved it (2744)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:50pm - work - by bass (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

#6422914
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26822) - you deserved it (4864)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)



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