Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my landlord sent tree cutters to take down a tree in our front yard. I didn't realize their job included walking around the house and gratuitously staring at me through the window as I dressed. My boyfriend won't complain because he's afraid our rent will go up in retaliation. FML

#14554836
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19133) - you deserved it (6863)

On 01/12/2011 at 2:42pm - misc - by iheartnjdevils - United States (Texas)

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

#9182520
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24116) - you deserved it (3869)

On 03/18/2010 at 8:20am - money - by Anna (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while tubing down the river, we stopped for lunch. I accidentally left my shoes on the sand when we left. I had to walk two miles through dense woods with no trail and no shoes. FML

Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don't have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML

#12957316
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18246) - you deserved it (2439)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by arose - United States

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

#13245639
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19038) - you deserved it (5170)

On 09/29/2010 at 3:08am - misc - by blonde (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

#14450678
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17328) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by klyoung5 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why my wife insisted on naming our first child "George" if it was a boy. It was her first love's name. FML

#14501149
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21537) - you deserved it (2121)

On 01/07/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got snowed in. At work. FML

#14537481
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20682) - you deserved it (1980)

On 01/10/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by snowbunny - United States

Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML

#14497096
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6715) - you deserved it (34970)

On 01/07/2011 at 1:14pm - health - by ouchieouch (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML

#14541477
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23517) - you deserved it (6493)

On 01/11/2011 at 2:31am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

#14528961
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16709) - you deserved it (6048)

On 01/10/2011 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

#20057702
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5847) - you deserved it (18861)

On 09/04/2012 at 6:02pm - misc - by CantPublish - United States

Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML

#14548248
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8028) - you deserved it (18264)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: