Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the weird lump on my eye is benign. That would be great news but they aren't going to treat it at all. Now I look like I'm high all the time. FML

#16016823
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23548) - you deserved it (2504)

On 05/02/2011 at 6:58am - health - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

#10448158
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28151) - you deserved it (7254)

On 05/10/2010 at 6:14am - money - by boring (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML

#17340796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24186) - you deserved it (8838)

On 08/02/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML

#17592683
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27239) - you deserved it (3741)

On 08/27/2011 at 4:12am - health - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23372) - you deserved it (7567)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to evening Mass. I later found that sometime between entering the church and receiving Communion, someone had snatched my iPhone straight out of my handbag. FML

#17776141
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (4771)

On 09/18/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the dentist. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML

#19393124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (2483)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:59am - health - by bdogge99 - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke my arm, and posted a picture of my X-ray on Facebook to show everyone how bad the break is. Nobody even asked me if I was OK. FML

#18724146
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15011) - you deserved it (34547)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:27am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24739) - you deserved it (2086)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was shopping, and tried on a skirt that was a size smaller than usual, thinking that I would fit in. Not only did it not fit, neither I nor the sales assistant could get it off me, because the zip got stuck. She had to cut me out of it. FML

#19709937
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9263) - you deserved it (24912)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by LtlCheeseburger (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML

#19378087
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16897) - you deserved it (9383)

On 03/30/2012 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

#18559487
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6803) - you deserved it (32870)

On 12/20/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by phansmootchie (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

#18502844
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (2811)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: