Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

#19859656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21631) - you deserved it (2459)

On 06/28/2012 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML

#20006315
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5776) - you deserved it (26741)

On 08/06/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by maybenot (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML

#20041381
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21298) - you deserved it (1918)

On 08/25/2012 at 5:59pm - health - by blue (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at work, when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little happy birthday to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML

#20082592
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (2457)

On 09/21/2012 at 8:28pm - work - by karmas a kunt (man) - United States

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

#20113670
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21763) - you deserved it (2132)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé's stepfather asked me how my teaching job was going. I replied heatedly that I've never taught, and then complained bitterly to my fiancé about how his family still doesn't know me. Turns out his stepfather has early onset dementia, and that I'm an asshole. FML

#20129656
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9259) - you deserved it (32950)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:29am - misc - by inthefamily (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (1893)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML

#20127118
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21128) - you deserved it (1929)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by HOPE YOU GET PEGGED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

#20103084
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19097) - you deserved it (1672)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by sharky (man) - United States

Today, my husband announced that he was fed up with us being known as the neighborhood slobs, and prepared to take down all the Christmas decorations still up from last year. He then decided it was too much effort, and that he'd leave them up to give us a three month head-start. FML

#20030388
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15994) - you deserved it (5536)

On 08/19/2012 at 6:28pm - misc - by i believe in shaq (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML

#19948204
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22721) - you deserved it (1946)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my roommate decided to turn off all appliances in the house to "save" electricity. This included the refrigerator. FML

#20088101
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20641) - you deserved it (1301)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by Jograd - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML

#20067411
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22278) - you deserved it (1256)

On 09/11/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: