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Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. I have no idea what happened the night before, except for the fact that I'd tucked two uncapped vodka bottles into bed beside me, and now my room reeks of a Russian sorority house. FML

#19417580
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6172) - you deserved it (22979)

On 04/06/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML

#17340796
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (8989)

On 08/02/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I discovered that even though I now have a key to get into the office, I don't know the code to shut off the alarm system. I showed up early. FML

#16817189
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (3557)

On 06/23/2011 at 2:13pm - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad informed me that I will be staying in the bug-infested shed for the summer when I come to visit, due to his girlfriend's sewing workspace completely taking over the only room I've ever had at his house. FML

#16792540
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (2344)

On 06/22/2011 at 12:59am - health - by justinj360 - United States (Montana)

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

#16246614
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10753) - you deserved it (21202)

On 05/18/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

#18620237
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (2253)

On 12/26/2011 at 11:21pm - health - by Sophie - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was shopping, and tried on a skirt that was a size smaller than usual, thinking that I would fit in. Not only did it not fit, neither I nor the sales assistant could get it off me, because the zip got stuck. She had to cut me out of it. FML

#19709937
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10029) - you deserved it (26668)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by LtlCheeseburger (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

#18559487
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6859) - you deserved it (33086)

On 12/20/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by phansmootchie (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

#19533768
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (2358)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:04pm - health - by bucktooth - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that I won't be able to wear the dress with a low neck line that I bought for my cousin's wedding, because my older brother thought it would be funny to mix a scented body-wash that he knows makes my skin break out in hives, with my regular one. My chest looks like a pizza. FML

#17518141
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28283) - you deserved it (2596)

On 08/19/2011 at 9:11am - health - by pizzachest - Canada (Ontario)

Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML

#18872855
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10272) - you deserved it (26132)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:44pm - love - by actor my ass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML

#17716770
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20258) - you deserved it (12917)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by dangit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23378) - you deserved it (2998)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)



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