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Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

by Monroe / 06/23/2011 at 6:30pm / United States / Kids

Today, my neighbor and I learned why fireworks are illegal in city limits. This lesson was learned shortly after a roman candle came crashing through my second story window. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 12:30am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting waiting for my train for a long while. When it finally came, I had pins and needles in my foot. When I got up, I fell and unsuccessfully stumbled towards the train. The doors closed and it left without me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 6:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, my mom threw out years worth of trophies that I'd put tons of effort into earning. Her reason? They all looked the same to her. FML

by Facepalm / 08/15/2011 at 7:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2011 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 9:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

by CamoElla / 02/19/2012 at 12:49am / United States / Kids

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

by anon / 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2012 at 7:51pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

by crissy becks / 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

by CollegeBound / 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

by friendlessatwork / 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous