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Today, I found out that the weird lump on my eye is benign. That would be great news but they aren't going to treat it at all. Now I look like I'm high all the time. FML

#16016823
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23524) - you deserved it (2503)

On 05/02/2011 at 6:58am - health - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

#10448158
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (7252)

On 05/10/2010 at 6:14am - money - by boring (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML

#17340796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23835) - you deserved it (8775)

On 08/02/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML

#17592683
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (3740)

On 08/27/2011 at 4:12am - health - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went to evening Mass. I later found that sometime between entering the church and receiving Communion, someone had snatched my iPhone straight out of my handbag. FML

#17776141
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23916) - you deserved it (4769)

On 09/18/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the dentist. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML

#19393124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (2482)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:59am - health - by bdogge99 - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke my arm, and posted a picture of my X-ray on Facebook to show everyone how bad the break is. Nobody even asked me if I was OK. FML

#18724146
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15001) - you deserved it (34524)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:27am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (2085)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was shopping, and tried on a skirt that was a size smaller than usual, thinking that I would fit in. Not only did it not fit, neither I nor the sales assistant could get it off me, because the zip got stuck. She had to cut me out of it. FML

#19709937
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9250) - you deserved it (24870)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by LtlCheeseburger (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML

#19378087
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16232) - you deserved it (9216)

On 03/30/2012 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

#18559487
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6794) - you deserved it (32835)

On 12/20/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by phansmootchie (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

#18502844
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28926) - you deserved it (2809)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that I won't be able to wear the dress with a low neck line that I bought for my cousin's wedding, because my older brother thought it would be funny to mix a scented body-wash that he knows makes my skin break out in hives, with my regular one. My chest looks like a pizza. FML

#17518141
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (2449)

On 08/19/2011 at 9:11am - health - by pizzachest - Canada (Ontario)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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