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Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20627) - you deserved it (1809)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML

#19907709
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23421) - you deserved it (3369)

On 07/08/2012 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

#20026624
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18947) - you deserved it (1898)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by CollegeBound (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML

#20085651
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16512) - you deserved it (2870)

On 09/23/2012 at 8:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

#19823688
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21046) - you deserved it (3013)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:40am - love - by rink.attendant.6 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

#19811531
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18710) - you deserved it (2328)

On 06/19/2012 at 5:59am - misc - by Stu (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML

#20067411
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22226) - you deserved it (1240)

On 09/11/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

#20077221
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19143) - you deserved it (1671)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a doctor's appointment. I left with referrals to both a dermatologist and a mental health professional. FML

#19986925
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16908) - you deserved it (2217)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:24am - health - by lexithepirate - United States

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

#20065231
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19895) - you deserved it (2066)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm - work - by the bad artist - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19167) - you deserved it (6814)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML

#20132432
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17739) - you deserved it (4024)

On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26936) - you deserved it (5294)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)



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