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Today, my professor handed me back a paper I spent hours upon hours working on. At the bottom in red it said "D" followed by, "that was a gift." FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2011 at 8:59pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

by Monroe / 06/23/2011 at 6:30pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was sitting waiting for my train for a long while. When it finally came, I had pins and needles in my foot. When I got up, I fell and unsuccessfully stumbled towards the train. The doors closed and it left without me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 6:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, my mom threw out years worth of trophies that I'd put tons of effort into earning. Her reason? They all looked the same to her. FML

by Facepalm / 08/15/2011 at 7:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2011 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

by CamoElla / 02/19/2012 at 12:49am / United States / Kids

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

by anon / 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2012 at 7:51pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

by crissy becks / 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

by CantPublish / 09/04/2012 at 6:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

by scumdresser / 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

by anonymous / 02/05/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous