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Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

#19521815
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6664) - you deserved it (24600)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by monkeycannon7 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that the weird lump on my eye is benign. That would be great news but they aren't going to treat it at all. Now I look like I'm high all the time. FML

#16016823
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (2503)

On 05/02/2011 at 6:58am - health - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML

#17340796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23399) - you deserved it (8719)

On 08/02/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML

#17592683
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (3661)

On 08/27/2011 at 4:12am - health - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went to evening Mass. I later found that sometime between entering the church and receiving Communion, someone had snatched my iPhone straight out of my handbag. FML

#17776141
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23871) - you deserved it (4763)

On 09/18/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the dentist. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML

#19393124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20014) - you deserved it (2481)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:59am - health - by bdogge99 - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke my arm, and posted a picture of my X-ray on Facebook to show everyone how bad the break is. Nobody even asked me if I was OK. FML

#18724146
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14968) - you deserved it (34485)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:27am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (2081)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was shopping, and tried on a skirt that was a size smaller than usual, thinking that I would fit in. Not only did it not fit, neither I nor the sales assistant could get it off me, because the zip got stuck. She had to cut me out of it. FML

#19709937
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9231) - you deserved it (24836)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by LtlCheeseburger (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML

#19378087
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16187) - you deserved it (9208)

On 03/30/2012 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

#18559487
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6593) - you deserved it (32230)

On 12/20/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by phansmootchie (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

#18502844
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28877) - you deserved it (2805)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that I won't be able to wear the dress with a low neck line that I bought for my cousin's wedding, because my older brother thought it would be funny to mix a scented body-wash that he knows makes my skin break out in hives, with my regular one. My chest looks like a pizza. FML

#17518141
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (2399)

On 08/19/2011 at 9:11am - health - by pizzachest - Canada (Ontario)



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