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Today, my manager came into the dog grooming salon I work at, lecturing about the importance of staying out of a dog's "bite zone". Right then, the dog I was working on bit me. FML

#18765091
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19899) - you deserved it (3763)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:50am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

#19648090
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28442) - you deserved it (2505)

On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML

#18913087
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23806) - you deserved it (2872)

On 01/26/2012 at 12:19am - health - by NeedaNosePlug (woman) - United States

Today, as I was finishing running a mile, my entire class begun to cheer me on. I felt happy since I don't have many friends. Only when I got closer did I realize that they were cheering for the girl behind me, and in fact, not one person was cheering for me. FML

#18718517
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26426) - you deserved it (2536)

On 01/05/2012 at 6:40pm - misc - by silvernights21 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML

#19397003
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17368) - you deserved it (1734)

On 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm - money - by unfriendlyskies (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML

#19473815
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24295) - you deserved it (2323)

On 04/15/2012 at 5:26pm - work - by ... (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé and I appeared in the paper for obtaining our marriage license. In the same column half way down his parents appeared for filing their marriage dissolution petition. FML

#19571944
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17659) - you deserved it (1727)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:19am - love - by Queen_Dread - United States (Washington)

Today, I received a call from the company I applied to, only to have my father pick it up and make fun of the man's accent. They won't call me back or take any of my calls, and my dad is completely unapologetic. FML

#19384586
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (1650)

On 03/31/2012 at 9:00pm - work - by Bashit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after weeks of sorting, inspecting, and waiting, my high school's yearbooks were distributed. I'd searched carefully for photo errors and was proud to say there were none. That is, until someone told me that a boy on the last page was flipping the camera the bird. FML

#19642956
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16833) - you deserved it (4142)

On 05/18/2012 at 5:50pm - misc - by ooh cat - United States (California)

Today, I locked my car. I put the key in my bag when suddenly my car began to roll backwards. I tried to get the key out of my bag but couldn't find it, and with the other hand I tried to stop the car. The worst thing was that some dumbass was watching me and didn't help. FML

#19499444
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11343) - you deserved it (18010)

On 04/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by rabbitoncocaine (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

#19656281
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (4112)

On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

#19628540
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17757) - you deserved it (4506)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:39pm - health - by Leadamp (man) -

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (2654)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)



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