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Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45157) - you deserved it (8980)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (48551)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67541) - you deserved it (4140)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, my brother and I took our cars to get oil changes. While we were there, a guy asked if we were dating. When we told him we were siblings, he responded with, "So?" FML

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43715) - you deserved it (4686)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34506) - you deserved it (11936)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36068) - you deserved it (8462)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50072) - you deserved it (18166)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

#21191841
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42746) - you deserved it (4747)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39170) - you deserved it (3447)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34528) - you deserved it (3713)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, like every month, the beautician spent 10 minutes removing the hairs from my stomach. I'm a girl. FML

#887
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19075) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Noname - Sent from mobile version



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