Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML

#13300541
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22923) - you deserved it (3761)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by tukkies (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. After I left his house, I realized that my cell phone had fallen out of my pocket and onto his couch, where I had forgotten it. FML

Today, my roommate who stays out til 4 or 5 in the morning each night got her key to the dorm fixed. I've been having to stay up nightly to let her in (my normal bedtime being 12:00) How'd they fix it? Turns out it was never broken she was just putting the key in the slot wrong. FML

#13313865
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24254) - you deserved it (3949)

On 10/04/2010 at 4:24am - misc - by megmo7 - United States

Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML

#9158152
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (4707)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:15pm - health - by patrick - United States

Today, my parents switched phone companies, which changed the phone number. Two days ago, I dropped off over 15 job applications with my 'old' number on all of them. There is a waiting period before I can reapply anywhere. FML

#12221495
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29066) - you deserved it (3848)

On 07/31/2010 at 3:35am - work - by telefucked (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was home alone, and I thought I heard someone breaking in through the side gate at my house. I was terrified, so I called the police. It turned out it was the gas company checking the meter. FML

#11529694
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9689) - you deserved it (24187)

On 06/28/2010 at 11:18pm - misc - by itssdianaa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one that's in my math class, noticed me, regardless of me hiding. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML

#9001360
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8134) - you deserved it (22194)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

#13482616
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10024) - you deserved it (20503)

On 10/17/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by baddoggy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the full body wax I got two weeks ago that my wife told me would look sexy doesn't just make me look like a completely hairless ten-year-old boy. The ingrown hairs everywhere now make me look like someone with chicken pox. FML

#13443862
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22042) - you deserved it (6571)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:05am - health - by mikey - United States (Michigan)

Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on new year's eve. An hour later I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the new year with my boss. FML

#14379512
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20540) - you deserved it (3733)

On 12/29/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML

#13446090
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24843) - you deserved it (4480)

On 10/14/2010 at 2:20pm - misc - by Casey - United States (California)

Today, after finally getting up the nerve to take my motorcycle to up 75mph on the freeway, I made it off in one piece, only to fall off my bike in the mall parking lot. FML

#12867561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11946) - you deserved it (21684)

On 09/02/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by hatesgravity (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that you don't put your diamond earrings on over your bathroom sink. FML

#8915747
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9175) - you deserved it (38779)

On 03/08/2010 at 8:19am - misc - by what434 - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: