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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

#17574598
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26467) - you deserved it (2877)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:29am - work - by badluckantonio - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML

#18338380
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13949) - you deserved it (51691)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by Andrew - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my roomate's cats pooped on the floor again. He refuses to clean it up saying it will be easier to clean in 48 hours. FML

#18482264
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28209) - you deserved it (2584)

On 12/11/2011 at 1:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML

#18401102
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26020) - you deserved it (2565)

On 12/01/2011 at 2:00am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got denied a job. They told me I was unreliable because I didn't show up for my third interview. This is the same interview they called and cancelled this morning. FML

#19025988
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28185) - you deserved it (1930)

On 02/08/2012 at 11:53am - work - by abrooks88 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24134) - you deserved it (3461)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, what started as my mom calling my grandma for a recipe turned into them discussing the philosophical reason behind my baking. I apparently picked up baking because I'm depressed over unemployment. And here I thought I just liked the smell of baked goods. FML

#19892549
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20335) - you deserved it (1823)

On 07/04/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by Shortcake (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32299) - you deserved it (7029)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

#20655587
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (7260)

On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44500) - you deserved it (9337)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

#20864835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40176) - you deserved it (3343)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

#20879598
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43264) - you deserved it (6930)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46600) - you deserved it (4894)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom



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