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Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

#20971859
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40371) - you deserved it (4102)

On 11/26/2013 at 10:11pm - work - by tortured (man) - United States

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

#20978310
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36819) - you deserved it (25831)

On 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Sherressa (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

#20989004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53501) - you deserved it (4628)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47390) - you deserved it (5387)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54841) - you deserved it (6741)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39110) - you deserved it (7511)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42028) - you deserved it (3884)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43443) - you deserved it (8253)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45315) - you deserved it (5754)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45845) - you deserved it (4885)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
190 comments

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44015) - you deserved it (6011)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)



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