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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

#17574598
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24430) - you deserved it (2700)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:29am - work - by badluckantonio - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML

#18338380
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13542) - you deserved it (50464)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by Andrew - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML

#18401102
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25162) - you deserved it (2506)

On 12/01/2011 at 2:00am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got denied a job. They told me I was unreliable because I didn't show up for my third interview. This is the same interview they called and cancelled this morning. FML

#19025988
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27274) - you deserved it (1870)

On 02/08/2012 at 11:53am - work - by abrooks88 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23274) - you deserved it (3365)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, what started as my mom calling my grandma for a recipe turned into them discussing the philosophical reason behind my baking. I apparently picked up baking because I'm depressed over unemployment. And here I thought I just liked the smell of baked goods. FML

#19892549
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19504) - you deserved it (1753)

On 07/04/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by Shortcake (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (1555)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

#20655587
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42891) - you deserved it (7185)

On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

#20864835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39412) - you deserved it (3266)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43747) - you deserved it (9204)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

#20879598
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42180) - you deserved it (6784)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45743) - you deserved it (4805)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that my daughter was looking for love in all the wrong places, specifically the county jail. FML



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