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Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21849) - you deserved it (53780)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49865) - you deserved it (18139)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

#21191841
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41675) - you deserved it (4603)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, like every month, the beautician spent 10 minutes removing the hairs from my stomach. I'm a girl. FML

#887
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19027) - you deserved it (2151)

On 01/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I searched for free parking near my work for 30 minutes, trying to avoid paying $12 at a pay lot. I scored a spot, but 1 mile away from the office. I trekked through rain, cold, and got to work late. It was a long hard day, crawled back to my car, and had a $30 ticket on my windshield. FML

#5560693
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9931) - you deserved it (34563)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the aquaintence congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. FML

#12057
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9799) - you deserved it (21367)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:40pm - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML

#6629276
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7273) - you deserved it (28342)

On 12/06/2009 at 2:43am - money - by life_suxxx - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

#4941541
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29211) - you deserved it (4698)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Robbins (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML

#5121769
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36879) - you deserved it (4723)

On 09/08/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Chaznuts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my landlady decided to fix the leak in my room. Her solution was repainting the ceiling. Now not only is my room still wet but it now reeks of paint thinner. FML

#5860087
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22510) - you deserved it (1605)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

#6485720
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (7100)

On 11/27/2009 at 10:02pm - love - by lonelyguy (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was walking through the bar area of the restaurant I work at and fell on my ass. Customers complained to my manager that I shouldn't be drinking on the job. FML

#6688829
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23215) - you deserved it (2424)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Melinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on what had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML

#7097742
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6980) - you deserved it (30959)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:08am - health - by couturier - Sent from mobile version



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