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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML

#13900927
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34212) - you deserved it (6826)

On 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

#13822299
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30808) - you deserved it (4486)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned two important facts: #1 A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML

#10661974
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30762) - you deserved it (4116)

On 05/21/2010 at 1:04am - health - by mrmidi - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML

#17066735
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28253) - you deserved it (3593)

On 07/11/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by MakeItMaaco (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

#17794305
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (9044)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML

#18778182
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23514) - you deserved it (5577)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by tbw (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

#19678491
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24873) - you deserved it (2094)

On 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25221) - you deserved it (1672)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

#20413996
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38746) - you deserved it (3241)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29319) - you deserved it (3322)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

#20846128
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41980) - you deserved it (7565)

On 08/20/2013 at 9:41am - health - by no that does not help (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

#20857254
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50214) - you deserved it (3802)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm - love - by the other man - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

#20942129
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43495) - you deserved it (7052)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:06am - love - by lucy_g (woman) - United States



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