Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML

#19473815
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24189) - you deserved it (2316)

On 04/15/2012 at 5:26pm - work - by ... (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé and I appeared in the paper for obtaining our marriage license. In the same column half way down his parents appeared for filing their marriage dissolution petition. FML

#19571944
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17581) - you deserved it (1586)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:19am - love - by Queen_Dread - United States (Washington)

Today, I received a call from the company I applied to, only to have my father pick it up and make fun of the man's accent. They won't call me back or take any of my calls, and my dad is completely unapologetic. FML

#19384586
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23887) - you deserved it (1647)

On 03/31/2012 at 9:00pm - work - by Bashit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17711) - you deserved it (3293)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

#19628540
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17144) - you deserved it (4422)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:39pm - health - by Leadamp (man) -

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20665) - you deserved it (2554)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

#20091024
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15665) - you deserved it (5430)

On 09/27/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

#19859656
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20359) - you deserved it (2351)

On 06/28/2012 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML

#20006315
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5281) - you deserved it (25310)

On 08/06/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by maybenot (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML

#20041381
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (1901)

On 08/25/2012 at 5:59pm - health - by blue (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML

#20038693
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18278) - you deserved it (2433)

On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States

Today, I was at work, when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little happy birthday to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML

#20082592
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (2335)

On 09/21/2012 at 8:28pm - work - by karmas a kunt (man) - United States

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

#20113670
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (2117)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: