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Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (72185)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that my daughter was looking for love in all the wrong places, specifically the county jail. FML

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

#21203054
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45164) - you deserved it (4424)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by madamefuxalittle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

#21200725
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52219) - you deserved it (5795)

On 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm - misc - by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40433) - you deserved it (4326)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

#21349612
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41975) - you deserved it (4700)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (10978)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally finished my 500 page manuscript and so went out to buy some paper to print it off. I get back home and find out my dad has infected my computer with a virus and the only way to save it was to wipe the hard drive, which he did. That script took me a year and I have no backup. FML

#2406
5 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40625) - you deserved it (26508)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by David3000 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24986) - you deserved it (5015)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my anatomy teacher was putting together a skeleton model for class. He had misplaced the leg bone, so I thoughtfully asked, "What's the matter, lose a leg?" Unfortunately, there's nothing thoughtful about asking that question to a guy with an amputated leg. FML

#10699
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8394) - you deserved it (34452)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by Foot In Mouth (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

#190354
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (32481)

On 03/02/2009 at 10:21pm - love - by badtrip (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I received a mass email from my boss saying we had a position open at the daycare I work at. I knew my boyfriend was looking for a job so I insisted he apply. Later at work, my boss takes me into her office and tells me my employment is being "terminated". My boyfriend is replacing me. FML

#1284518
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60533) - you deserved it (5416)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:41am - work - by jcstpierre (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after two weeks of living on plain pasta, I finally got my paycheck and was excited that I'd get real food, and ride the subway instead of exhausting my malnourished body with the two-hour walk to work. My surname was misspelt on the check; the bank is holding it for ten days. FML

#985016
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79103) - you deserved it (3930)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:48am - money - by A. (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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