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Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (1836)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (3091)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

#20411716
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12226) - you deserved it (38482)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

#20598583
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28932) - you deserved it (35546)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I gave my boyfriend our festival tickets to keep hold of while I excitedly went home to get ready. He took someone else. FML

#20693277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54658) - you deserved it (5552)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by festival virgin - United Kingdom

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38451) - you deserved it (16824)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

#20854112
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43640) - you deserved it (4785)

On 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

#20899473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43698) - you deserved it (2811)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50590) - you deserved it (3866)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

#21087087
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44332) - you deserved it (5146)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:35am - love - by Burning Love - United States (Arizona)

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

#21088268
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42184) - you deserved it (4472)

On 03/16/2014 at 4:10pm - money - by skyeraven (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40098) - you deserved it (3621)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)



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