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Today , I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. big fat FML

#20665284
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63540) - you deserved it (4143)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY I WAS IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE WAITING 4 MY HUSBAND TO ARRIVE WHEN A LITTLE OLD LADY SAT BESIDE ME. SHE SEEMED NICE UNTIL SHE STARTED FARTING AND BLAMING IT ON ME. THEY WEREN'T SILENT; THEY SOUNDED LYK TRUCKER FARTS AND SMELLED LYK DEATH. I WAS THERE 4 OVER AN HOUR. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47366) - you deserved it (4278)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today... I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs... never drank alcohol... never had sex... never had psychological problems... never been to the hospital for something serious... never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51483) - you deserved it (18294)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

TODAY.. . NEIGHBORS CALLD THE POLICE AN SAID THAT THEY SAW.. . THROUGH THE WINDOW.. . A SUSPICIOUS PERSON IN HOUSE DOING SOMETHING TO PIANO . THE ( SUSPICIOUS PERSON ) WAS ME.. . IN OWN HOUSE.. . PLAYING OWN PIANO . FML

#20678725
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43627) - you deserved it (2568)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY, MAH MOM SCOLDED ME AND THREATENED TO GROUND ME FIR COMING HOME PAST MIDNIGHT. NORMALLY, IT WOULDN'T BE UNREASONABLE, EXCEPT FIR THE FACT THAT I'M 24 YEARS OLD, AND THAT MAH PARENT LIVE WITH ME, IN MAH OWN HOUSE. FML

#20677848
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51410) - you deserved it (4910)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by mammasboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, mah brother lookd me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world . I'm scard . FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55792) - you deserved it (5037)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

TODAY, MAH SISTER AND I WERE HAVING A SLUMBER PARTY IN MAH ROOM SINCE MAH PARENTS LEFT ON A TRIP. THEY LEFT MAH GRANDPARENTS HERE TO WATCH US. IT WAS PAST BED TIME AND WE STARTED HEARING SOME STRANGE NOISES THROUGH MAH FLOOR. WE THOUGHT IT WAS THE RADIO. TURNS OUT MAH GRANDMA IS A SCREAMER. FML

Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music . The music stopped and I assumed mah iPod's battery had run out . Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving mah earphones in . I didn't feel a thing . FML

#20688903
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48297) - you deserved it (10421)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:16am - misc - by stupid (woman) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand . We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast . Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he cummed to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops . FML

#20694089
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45575) - you deserved it (9099)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today.!! !! boss frd me fir being ( too morally ambiguous ) !! I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese !! FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38543) - you deserved it (3630)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, mah 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test cummed back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62719) - you deserved it (10870)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

TODAY, MAH HUSBAND WAS CHASED OUT OF A BAR AFTER HE WAS SEEN SLIPPING SOMETHING INTO A WOMAN'S DRINK. I WAS THE WOMAN, THE 'SOMETHING' WAS ASPIRIN, AND THAT'S THE LAST TIME WE EVER TRY TO ROLE-PLAY. FML

#20798724
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50173) - you deserved it (28038)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

TODAY , I WENT TO TE GIANTS GAME !! DURING TE SEVENT INNING STRETC TEY SOWED ME ON TE JUMBO-TRON !! IT WAS JUST IN TIME 4 TE ENTIRE STADIUM TO SEE ME PULL A TAMPON OUT OF MY PURSE !! FML

#20799228
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61551) - you deserved it (8021)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)



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