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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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yesterday I came home to fine a pregnancy test in trashcan !! I live alone with boyfriend and I'm not pregnant !! FML

#20430574
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39777) - you deserved it (2452)

On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States

Today at a house party I finally got the guy I've been seieng alone in his room. We startd making out and I got on top of him to take control. He respondd by saying he couldn't do it because he needd to go make looool pizza 4 his friends and then boltd out of the room. mega FML

#20438672
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (9235)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while askd me if I wantd to meet her in person . Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house . When she opend the door, she screamd and calld the cops on me . While detaind, she calld my phone asking why I never showd up today . FML

#20450521
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38387) - you deserved it (5789)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, I hurt mah backhila axarcising. I can't band ovar or lift mah arms abova mah haad without intansa pain. My husband, howavar, finds mah situation hilariou an has movad avarything I usa fraquantly to aithar tha floor or high shalf. Ha giggla avary tima I try to ratriava anything. FML

Today , at mah 6-year-old son's brthday party , I had to explain to mah boyfriend that it's not okay to use condom as party balloons . FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29294) - you deserved it (5906)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, fir te second time tis week, I was asked to stop putting on suc an obviously fake ( Britis ) accent . I am Britis an ave lived ere all ma life . FML

#20513499
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33910) - you deserved it (2714)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, After An Argument With My Pianist Girlfriend About How Bad My Favourite Song Would Sound On The Piano, She Stormd Out Of The Room Crying, Leaving Behind A CD. It Was The Piano Version Of The Song She'd Made 4 Me. FML

#20528725
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13265) - you deserved it (73293)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (6781) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, a man attemptd to sue mah business 4 giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I calld the cops on him 4 disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll puttd 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33127) - you deserved it (3410)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today fiancée and I showed mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "Looks lyk a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33347) - you deserved it (2425)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, I discovered te "may ave a laxative effect" warning on ma sugar-free jelly beans sould actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27956) - you deserved it (4955)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today... ma fiancé dumped me cuz e claimed e needed to "focus on is career an is engagement." Wen I asked im ow dumping me would elp wit is engagement... e immediately replied wit... "No... I mean ma oter one." FML

#20569834
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47522) - you deserved it (3352)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

today my school announced its senior motto 4 the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". real FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47715) - you deserved it (5460)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)



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