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Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

#16005260
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26105) - you deserved it (3602)

On 05/01/2011 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

#10448158
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (7526)

On 05/10/2010 at 6:14am - money - by boring (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I used a fire extinguisher for the first time. Too bad it was on my car. FML

#16523437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26243) - you deserved it (3194)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML

#16247260
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32416) - you deserved it (2861)

On 05/19/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by John -

Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML

#19621354
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9221) - you deserved it (21029)

On 05/14/2012 at 8:40am - misc - by foreverDark - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML

#16314169
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31252) - you deserved it (2785)

On 05/23/2011 at 3:33pm - health - by Catherine - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

#17845071
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21236) - you deserved it (2401)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:18am - work - by CathyM - United States (Virginia)

Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML

#19327159
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (21966)

On 03/22/2012 at 4:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

#19447044
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (1775)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML

#17916897
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22704) - you deserved it (2371)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by grubbieduc - United States (California)

Today, at work, we've just hired a new load of people. As an icebreaker, we were paired up randomly and told to learn about our partner so that we can introduce them to the group. I got matched up with someone I've worked with for 4 months. Mid-conversation, I blurted out "I don't know your name." FML

#15877109
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8988) - you deserved it (27148)

On 04/21/2011 at 7:49pm - work - by Clueless (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I noticed my 5-gallon glass vase/aquarium was leaking at the base. When I went to move the vase so I could transfer everything to a new aquarium, the bottom completely detached, sending water, sand, sea shells and fish crap everywhere. FML

#18499950
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23259) - you deserved it (5047)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that even though I now have a key to get into the office, I don't know the code to shut off the alarm system. I showed up early. FML

#16817189
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (3557)

On 06/23/2011 at 2:13pm - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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