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Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

#9111190
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8749) - you deserved it (25253)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

#12296096
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6889) - you deserved it (51692)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:19pm - misc - by bitch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

#14061487
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31819) - you deserved it (2657)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML

#14635663
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26491) - you deserved it (5240)

On 01/19/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Lebanon

Today, I played a volleyball game at my school. Not only did I miss the winning point, the ball hit my face in the process, which resulted in popping a big fat zit on my nose. FML

#13797230
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25937) - you deserved it (4924)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by iharethissomuxh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum is convinced I'm a hoarder. While I was out of the house, she went through my room and threw out stuff I "don't need." This included $500 worth of textbooks, a flash drive with crucial work on it, and my phone charger. FML

#14518495
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37683) - you deserved it (2871)

On 01/09/2011 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML

#14552210
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (3985)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:28am - misc - by will3000 -

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

#14955673
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34192) - you deserved it (2652)

On 02/13/2011 at 6:38am - health - by floggingnasty - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

#18988836
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (3172)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:22am - health - by foxyreegan - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking on the beach when I tripped. I was about to land on a kid's sandcastle, so I tried to dodge by leaning left to avoid it. Before I hit the ground, I noticed the many rocks I was heading for. FML

#17197831
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29298) - you deserved it (4047)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by MICHAELTHEA (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (3974)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, mom was so upset when she found out that she is having another granddaughter that she wants us to pay her back for the little boy clothes that she bought before the sex of the baby was known. FML

#17372798
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29300) - you deserved it (2316)

On 08/04/2011 at 11:56pm - kids - by mommytobe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was so bored that I began searching for videos of people popping their pimples. FML

#18642510
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8403) - you deserved it (36894)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:03am - misc - by nolife - United States



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