Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML

#19516000
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9950) - you deserved it (17822)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:22am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my manager came into the dog grooming salon I work at, lecturing about the importance of staying out of a dog's "bite zone". Right then, the dog I was working on bit me. FML

#18765091
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19710) - you deserved it (3743)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:50am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML

#19399290
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18428) - you deserved it (4111)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:39am - misc - by lizann - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got pulled into a conversation about my 62 year old boss's new breast implants. FML

#19354471
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18879) - you deserved it (1927)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML

#18279451
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (2967)

On 11/18/2011 at 5:49am - misc - by Etyl (woman) - Indonesia (Jawa Tengah)

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

#19648090
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27059) - you deserved it (2382)

On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML

#18913087
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (2705)

On 01/26/2012 at 12:19am - health - by NeedaNosePlug (woman) - United States

Today, as I was finishing running a mile, my entire class begun to cheer me on. I felt happy since I don't have many friends. Only when I got closer did I realize that they were cheering for the girl behind me, and in fact, not one person was cheering for me. FML

#18718517
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (2524)

On 01/05/2012 at 6:40pm - misc - by silvernights21 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that, after offering to fill out my student aid application for me, my mother sent all of my personal information to a scam site instead. FML

#18682352
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26367) - you deserved it (3862)

On 01/02/2012 at 1:45am - money - by ... - United States

Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML

#19397003
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17167) - you deserved it (1722)

On 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm - money - by unfriendlyskies (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

#18734137
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26327) - you deserved it (4466)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:07am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML

#19473815
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24083) - you deserved it (2310)

On 04/15/2012 at 5:26pm - work - by ... (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé and I appeared in the paper for obtaining our marriage license. In the same column half way down his parents appeared for filing their marriage dissolution petition. FML

#19571944
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17544) - you deserved it (1580)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:19am - love - by Queen_Dread - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: