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Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (10681)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

#21397889
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33150) - you deserved it (2859)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML

#21403515
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28807) - you deserved it (4825)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59pm - misc - by Upside-Down Sleeper. - United States (Maryland)

Today, as I sat on my couch heartbroken from a very recent breakup, my mother walked up to me and in a very comforting voice said, "maybe he left you for someone else." FML

#45956
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43888) - you deserved it (2236)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:51am - misc - by too bad so sad (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML

#3491271
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37138) - you deserved it (3110)

On 07/04/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by Single4Life (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

#1384927
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11263) - you deserved it (52159)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by maddie94 (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML

#1507278
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41988) - you deserved it (24768)

On 04/30/2009 at 9:40pm - health - by fuckmyliiiiiiife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

#5223643
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13662) - you deserved it (43009)

On 09/13/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I was ready for marriage and start having kids. She hasn't called or texted me since. FML

#5479094
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15448) - you deserved it (61155)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:34am - love - by bigdawg702 (man) - United States

Today, was my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

#4375044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46171) - you deserved it (2719)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by dentistftw (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my girlfriend's parent to ask for her hand in marriage. They were shocked and told me that they would have to refuse. Apparently my girlfriend had told them last week that she had met someone new at work and didn't know how to break it off with me. FML

Today, I got all dressed up for a New Year's party. When my parents and siblings left the house to their parties, I got undressed. I wasn't going to a party. I only got dressed up so my family would think I had plans. FML

#7089085
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31243) - you deserved it (6307)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Shawna (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I woke up to a quite frigid room, which wasn't out of the ordinary since my building's heat is broken. But I realized that the extra cold I was feeling was due to the snow piled up on my bed. It had snowed 20 inches last night. My mom had apparently opened my window. FML

#6848159
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31178) - you deserved it (2659)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Lapis (man) - United States (New York)



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