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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

#19743960
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21290) - you deserved it (2181)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that, after offering to fill out my student aid application for me, my mother sent all of my personal information to a scam site instead. FML

#18682352
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28220) - you deserved it (4038)

On 01/02/2012 at 1:45am - money - by ... - United States

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

#18734137
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26931) - you deserved it (4526)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:07am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

#20112154
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20007) - you deserved it (2620)

On 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML

#19678004
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18590) - you deserved it (3274)

On 05/25/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by whinywiper - Canada

Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML

#19374063
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21310) - you deserved it (1928)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by jasonnn (man) - Australia

Today, I sprained my ankle trying to prove that I can walk in high heels. FML

#20060059
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6747) - you deserved it (21885)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:46am - health - by dumbass (woman) - United States

Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML

#19618008
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (1811)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17854) - you deserved it (3308)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML

#19671930
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17272) - you deserved it (1840)

On 05/24/2012 at 8:59am - misc - by howsthisforaname (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, my boyfriend accidentally broke my nose the day he was meeting my parents for the first time. FML

#19720513
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (2093)

On 06/02/2012 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

#20039352
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11965) - you deserved it (22589)

On 08/24/2012 at 2:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML

#20075179
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11116) - you deserved it (23438) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm - animals - by romainmain - France (Champagne-Ardenne)



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