Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

#19447044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (1682)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML

#17916897
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22384) - you deserved it (2347)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by grubbieduc - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that even though I now have a key to get into the office, I don't know the code to shut off the alarm system. I showed up early. FML

#16817189
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24474) - you deserved it (3530)

On 06/23/2011 at 2:13pm - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad informed me that I will be staying in the bug-infested shed for the summer when I come to visit, due to his girlfriend's sewing workspace completely taking over the only room I've ever had at his house. FML

#16792540
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (2195)

On 06/22/2011 at 12:59am - health - by justinj360 - United States (Montana)

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

#16246614
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10259) - you deserved it (20493)

On 05/18/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

#16496230
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (3391)

On 06/04/2011 at 9:07am - health - by missbutthole - United States (New York)

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

#18620237
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26726) - you deserved it (2050)

On 12/26/2011 at 11:21pm - health - by Sophie - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

#19533768
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (2188)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:04pm - health - by bucktooth - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

#16860122
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29163) - you deserved it (4807)

On 06/26/2011 at 1:39am - animals - by animallover (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML

#18872855
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9805) - you deserved it (25137)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:44pm - love - by actor my ass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (2885)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

#20063186
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7900) - you deserved it (19772)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML

#19516000
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9950) - you deserved it (17819)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:22am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: