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Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26921) - you deserved it (2196)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23041) - you deserved it (5591)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML

#20535549
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29251) - you deserved it (1379)

On 03/08/2013 at 5:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (5219)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

#20539190
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6844) - you deserved it (32888)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:43am - misc - by PeeLeg (woman) -

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

#20545967
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7932) - you deserved it (49293)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28376) - you deserved it (2088)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (3487)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (2821)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33800) - you deserved it (2240)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (2790)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

#20579287
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29574) - you deserved it (5336)

On 04/07/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by moosy0_o (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35176) - you deserved it (2569)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada



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