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Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40962) - you deserved it (4348)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

#20964674
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52030) - you deserved it (4973)

On 11/20/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

#21079043
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36494) - you deserved it (17930)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm - work - by sparkrok - United States (Washington)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML

#21106771
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40134) - you deserved it (12994)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after getting home from finals and finishing the semester, I had a very heartfelt reunion with my dog during which he licked me all over the face. About an hour later, my dad told me, "By the way, don't let him lick you, he has hookworms." FML

#21126684
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45146) - you deserved it (4817)

On 04/29/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anon (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

#21203602
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41300) - you deserved it (19418)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:38am - kids - by whoops - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

#21295011
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37890) - you deserved it (3234)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:36pm - misc - by ItGirl - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

#21271391
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38008) - you deserved it (4729)

On 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm - kids - by SmellyCloset (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML

#21403515
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30292) - you deserved it (5125)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59pm - misc - by Upside-Down Sleeper. - United States (Maryland)

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17484) - you deserved it (34389)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

#21354035
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33805) - you deserved it (3801)

On 02/11/2015 at 11:11am - kids - by maybe? (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36638) - you deserved it (3021)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

#21349488
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31373) - you deserved it (2555)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Sprinkles (man) - Australia



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