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Today, after 8 years, I confessed one of my best friends I've been in love with him since we were kiddies. His answer was "Don't worry, I won't stop talking to you." FML

by handlin / 01/14/2010 at 1:45am / Mexico (Nuevo Leon) / Love

Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex girlfriend. FML

by Chrissy / 02/08/2010 at 3:24pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

by Katrina641 / 02/25/2010 at 11:20pm / Intimacy

Today, I thought I lost my wallet. Canceled my bank cards. Bought a new wallet. Got a $141 parking fine at the motor registry while getting my replacement license which also cost me $22. Went to go to the gym and when I went to put my bike jacket on, felt something inside the sleeve. My wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 2:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my husband that after fifteen years of marriage, I wanted a divorce. His first question was whether or not he could still go on the family cruise my parents are paying for in May. FML

by danikka1 / 03/11/2010 at 12:13pm / United States / Love

Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 7:29pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

by Th3BaconNinja / 06/07/2010 at 10:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

by hurricane0331 / 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML

by joshualover / 09/22/2010 at 10:29pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

by Tony / 11/30/2010 at 6:30am / Work

Today, during a dinner party, some friends brought up how sweet, innocent and caring they thought I was. I had to sit there as my drunk boyfriend cut them off and loudly argue that I was neither sweet nor innocent, and really nothing that special at all. FML

by Lily / 01/08/2011 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

by Username / 01/11/2011 at 4:45am / Love