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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML

#19708728
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19128) - you deserved it (2080)

On 05/31/2012 at 7:29am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

#18599124
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18669) - you deserved it (1899)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by ambled - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

#19385942
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (2832)

On 04/01/2012 at 12:32am - work - by Kristat (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML

#19122555
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8529) - you deserved it (29143)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:36pm - love - by WTA (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML

#18859567
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (3011)

On 01/20/2012 at 3:23am - work - by LiquorChick (woman) - United States

Today, I had to cut short my New Year's resolution of going to the gym daily, when the meathead next to me dropped some heavy weights, which bounced and landed on my foot. I'm sitting at home in a cast. FML

#18705710
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26046) - you deserved it (2096)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:55am - health - by gimpy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML

#18838483
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21205) - you deserved it (4591)

On 01/17/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by Sheliton (woman) - United States

Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML

#18279451
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/18/2011 at 5:49am - misc - by Etyl (woman) - Indonesia (Jawa Tengah)

Today, I was pumping gas, when my daughter called me. After I hung up, I put my phone on the car roof while I grabbed my bag. I completely forgot about it and only realized when it shot off the roof as I braked at a traffic light. FML

#19501133
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7640) - you deserved it (20707)

On 04/20/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by Katelyn - United States (California)

Today, I finally turned 21 so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I decided to order a drink. She replied with, "No problem, kiddo." FML

#19810432
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20488) - you deserved it (6074)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:28am - misc - by DerrickUhl - United States (California)

Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML

#19268637
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10247) - you deserved it (21563)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:03am - health - by pagvscgrac - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

#19743960
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20053) - you deserved it (2055)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

#18734137
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (4517)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:07am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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