Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the park with my friend and we decided to swing. While we were swinging, we decided to jump off backwards. All would have worked out fine if my pants hadn't gotten caught on the metal of the swing, leaving my bare butt exposed. The man who was in the park with his daughter left. FML

#8675037
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8519) - you deserved it (22083)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML

#13899111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9964) - you deserved it (33435)

On 11/19/2010 at 11:54am - health - by SODbeatlesMCRlp (man) - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

#13188457
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/24/2010 at 10:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

#12172658
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34403) - you deserved it (4895)

On 07/28/2010 at 8:40pm - love - by tryon777 - United States

Today, I thought I lost my wallet. Canceled my bank cards. Bought a new wallet. Got a $141 parking fine at the motor registry while getting my replacement license which also cost me $22. Went to go to the gym and when I went to put my bike jacket on, felt something inside the sleeve. My wallet. FML

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

#14560374
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (4753)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my husband that after fifteen years of marriage, I wanted a divorce. His first question was whether or not he could still go on the family cruise my parents are paying for in May. FML

#8995755
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24247) - you deserved it (10040)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:13pm - love - by danikka1 - United States

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

#11412835
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (3147)

On 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm - misc - by hurricane0331 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML

#13163125
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8766) - you deserved it (26951)

On 09/22/2010 at 10:29pm - misc - by joshualover (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML

#14279606
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28758) - you deserved it (4275)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML

#11998516
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28551) - you deserved it (9694)

On 07/20/2010 at 4:15am - intimacy - by Ugh... - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend commented on my short skirt and, thinking she was being funny, tried to pull it down. I quickly moved away, causing it to come off in her hands. My shocked scream attracted the attention of at least a dozen bystanders. FML

#14395971
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (7390)

On 12/30/2010 at 1:21pm - misc - by glam300 - United Kingdom

Today, during a dinner party, some friends brought up how sweet, innocent and caring they thought I was. I had to sit there as my drunk boyfriend cut them off and loudly argue that I was neither sweet nor innocent, and really nothing that special at all. FML

#14507444
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32090) - you deserved it (4383)

On 01/08/2011 at 11:01am - love - by Lily - United States (New York)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: