Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML

#4943867
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20437) - you deserved it (6983)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:06am - work - by Mack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply for my job in order to have a chance at keeping it. The applications closed yesterday. FML

#6009884
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (5141)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got the repair estimate for my car. It is going to cost me $3,000 to rebuild the front end. It was wrecked because a couple decided to have a lovers spat in the middle of the freeway. I had that car for exactly four hours. FML

#6527838
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27044) - you deserved it (2150)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Dante (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the bus and a woman got on with her 3 young children. I offered her my seat so they could all sit together. When I went to get off the bus I realized I left my bag underneath my old seat. When I tried to get it back the woman hit me and yelled at me for trying to steal her purse. FML

#6738092
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (2129)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:30pm - misc - by gabby (woman) - Canada

Today, I got an email from the Law School Admissions Council saying that they received my request for my LSAT cancellation and they are confirming that it has been cancelled. The email also said the score will not be reinstated for any reason. I never requested for my score to be cancelled. FML

#6751692
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25555) - you deserved it (1637)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:20pm - misc - by dahlia87 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out the gift card my friend gave me for Christmas actually has no money on it and was never purchased in the first place. FML

#6958051
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19992) - you deserved it (1421)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by DeannaMarie - United States (Florida)

Today, I took the train home. When seated, I suddenly noticed something wet on my seat. Without looking, I thought it was water since it was snowing outside. Guess again. It was vomit. FML

#6868813
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18651) - you deserved it (4646)

On 12/21/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by herzausstein (man) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, I was getting ready for a party and accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML

#7115601
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18243) - you deserved it (5370)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by cutiepatootie (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

#10678608
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21336) - you deserved it (3715)

On 05/21/2010 at 10:33pm - misc - by Jlipka - United States

Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML

#7517323
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14978) - you deserved it (1899)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:21am - intimacy - by T.C (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML

#7275776
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21016) - you deserved it (2858)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by wrecked (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at work using a wood finishing product that we apply by hand. After 2 straight days of using it I finally read the label. It said "This product contains a chemical known to the state of California to cause cancer". Good thing nobody told me. FML

#8794429
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17580) - you deserved it (9630)

On 03/03/2010 at 5:49am - work - by painter - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was loading a very large box into my hatchback. I was really struggling, and a few people walked by and laughed. Then a car pulled up and waited for the spot. There isn't a spring to hold my trunk open, so it slammed onto my head. Twice. The car honked for me to hurry up. FML

#8729495
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17000) - you deserved it (1640)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: