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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

#12172658
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33478) - you deserved it (4804)

On 07/28/2010 at 8:40pm - love - by tryon777 - United States

Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML

#13771882
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7389) - you deserved it (81627)

On 11/08/2010 at 11:18pm - love - by ashbox233 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

#14560374
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27291) - you deserved it (4551)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

#11412835
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (2982)

On 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm - misc - by hurricane0331 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML

#13163125
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7476) - you deserved it (24199)

On 09/22/2010 at 10:29pm - misc - by joshualover (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML

#14279606
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (4187)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31514) - you deserved it (3067)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, my dad called, saying he was in town and that he wanted to see me. I was excited, thinking he wanted to come see my new apartment. Turns out he just wanted to borrow my Xbox. FML

#17813081
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22294) - you deserved it (1981)

On 09/23/2011 at 12:50pm - misc - by jccwell - United States

Today, my car broke down in the middle of the street. Lucky for me, two guys helped me push my car to the side of the road. Right when I was about to thank them, they stole my purse. FML

#18020757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29766) - you deserved it (2591)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by mommydearist - United States (Texas)

Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML

#18930707
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (4638)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:58am - money - by INeedMoney - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

#19828515
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23875) - you deserved it (3367)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML

#20441192
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26244) - you deserved it (2005)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:36pm - misc - by millavitsa - Ukraine

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

#20635309
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16276) - you deserved it (36506)

On 05/01/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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