Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got really bored at work. I decided to spin myself around and around in my chair until I got really dizzy. Apparently my boss decided to start watching me do this while I was in mid-spin. FML

#19775429
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5811) - you deserved it (25870)

On 06/12/2012 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

#20007077
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21009) - you deserved it (1729)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to very clearly explain to my mother, in public, why you cannot get cancer from eating too much ketchup. FML

#19961052
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18237) - you deserved it (2053)

On 07/19/2012 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21253) - you deserved it (1645)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in my weekly journal for college, my professor suggested in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML

#20099593
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18814) - you deserved it (6077)

On 10/03/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML

#20086255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18801) - you deserved it (2146)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:18am - health - by AnxietyGirl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

#20036934
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19521) - you deserved it (12934)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:15am - work - by ihatemondays - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

#20047299
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (2575)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:52am - money - by anon - United States (Maine)

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

#20145539
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8986) - you deserved it (31084)

On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

#20134961
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12479) - you deserved it (57220)

On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)

Today, I kissed a boy for the first time in over a year. It was at drama club practice, and he quickly ended up asking the director if we could remove that scene from the play. FML

#20114767
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20827) - you deserved it (2265)

On 10/13/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by pinkfreak94 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19898) - you deserved it (1573)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML

#20119674
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17953) - you deserved it (6249)

On 10/16/2012 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: