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Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34062) - you deserved it (2762)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44785) - you deserved it (7545)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

#21301098
120 comments

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47181) - you deserved it (16758)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

#21227795
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40983) - you deserved it (4888)

On 08/02/2014 at 6:37pm - work - by Shitmetalseller (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend..." FML

#21229506
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43398) - you deserved it (8908)

On 08/04/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37101) - you deserved it (3392)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34618) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

#21414312
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29477) - you deserved it (2381)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

#21419654
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25685) - you deserved it (5213)

On 06/02/2015 at 11:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

#2119
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22643) - you deserved it (4123)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML

#1870667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69971) - you deserved it (4140)

On 05/12/2009 at 11:22am - love - by badboyfriend101 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water only to see my 75 year old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asks me if we have any coffee creamer. FML

#1678195
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47717) - you deserved it (2743)

On 05/05/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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