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Today, I finally turned 21 so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I decided to order a drink. She replied with, "No problem, kiddo." FML

#19810432
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20412) - you deserved it (6069)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:28am - misc - by DerrickUhl - United States (California)

Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML

#19268637
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10199) - you deserved it (21499)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:03am - health - by pagvscgrac - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

#19743960
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19976) - you deserved it (2052)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

#20112154
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19142) - you deserved it (2521)

On 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML

#19678004
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18336) - you deserved it (3258)

On 05/25/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by whinywiper - Canada

Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML

#19374063
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (1906)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by jasonnn (man) - Australia

Today, I sprained my ankle trying to prove that I can walk in high heels. FML

#20060059
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6673) - you deserved it (21683)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:46am - health - by dumbass (woman) - United States

Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML

#19618008
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (1737)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

#20062299
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4433) - you deserved it (44679)

On 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm - misc - by scumbag i guess - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a Facebook status asking if anyone wanted to hang out. A couple hours later, I logged back in, only find the status with no likes and only one comment. The comment said "no-one." FML

#20093499
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19610) - you deserved it (6599)

On 09/29/2012 at 11:28am - misc - by Robert - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend accidentally broke my nose the day he was meeting my parents for the first time. FML

#19720513
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21178) - you deserved it (2002)

On 06/02/2012 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML

#20075179
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10250) - you deserved it (22014) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm - animals - by romainmain - France (Champagne-Ardenne)



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