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Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML

#19374063
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (1906)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by jasonnn (man) - Australia

Today, I sprained my ankle trying to prove that I can walk in high heels. FML

#20060059
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6668) - you deserved it (21676)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:46am - health - by dumbass (woman) - United States

Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML

#19618008
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (1736)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

#20062299
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4430) - you deserved it (44659)

On 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm - misc - by scumbag i guess - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a Facebook status asking if anyone wanted to hang out. A couple hours later, I logged back in, only find the status with no likes and only one comment. The comment said "no-one." FML

#20093499
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19605) - you deserved it (6599)

On 09/29/2012 at 11:28am - misc - by Robert - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend accidentally broke my nose the day he was meeting my parents for the first time. FML

#19720513
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (2003)

On 06/02/2012 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML

#20075179
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10250) - you deserved it (22008) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm - animals - by romainmain - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML

#20005831
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20068) - you deserved it (1339)

On 08/06/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by 44magnumtime (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

#20059793
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22434) - you deserved it (3464)

On 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by divorcee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML

#20127118
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (1897)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by HOPE YOU GET PEGGED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML

Today, I had to very clearly explain to my mother, in public, why you cannot get cancer from eating too much ketchup. FML

#19961052
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17253) - you deserved it (1964)

On 07/19/2012 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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