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Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (38968)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

#21349488
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (2441)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Sprinkles (man) - Australia

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29513) - you deserved it (2456)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

#21414312
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28666) - you deserved it (2316)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML

#970
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6610) - you deserved it (55546)

On 01/11/2009 at 2:13pm - love - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

#2119
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21164) - you deserved it (3925)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)

Today, I asked my mother if she thought my cat was getting fat. She replied "It's not the cat you should worry about". FML

#5051
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (5167)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:22pm - animals - by mikep - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I got a call from a girl I know, asking if i could babysit her little brother at my house tonight. I said yes. When the boy came over he mentioned that his sister was having a party and didn't want him there. Turns out all my friends were invited except me. FML

#464379
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84755) - you deserved it (4393)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML

#3655783
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7559) - you deserved it (53020)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Name (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML

#1870667
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68902) - you deserved it (4067)

On 05/12/2009 at 11:22am - love - by badboyfriend101 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water only to see my 75 year old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asks me if we have any coffee creamer. FML

#1678195
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46798) - you deserved it (2691)

On 05/05/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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