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Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML

by Renesmeekuhnell / 02/28/2010 at 11:00am / Denmark (Arhus) / Work

Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 5:16am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love

Today, I found out my mother had remarried, and that I was getting a stepfather and stepbrother. However I found out about it 30 minutes before we left to pick them up from the airport, and also found out that I'm losing my bedroom. FML

by photonut13 / 07/15/2010 at 6:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 12:28am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML

by ashbox233 / 11/08/2010 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML

by SODbeatlesMCRlp / 11/19/2010 at 11:54am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML

by Username / 12/21/2010 at 12:09am / Intimacy

Today, my friend commented on my short skirt and, thinking she was being funny, tried to pull it down. I quickly moved away, causing it to come off in her hands. My shocked scream attracted the attention of at least a dozen bystanders. FML

by glam300 / 12/30/2010 at 1:21pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad called, saying he was in town and that he wanted to see me. I was excited, thinking he wanted to come see my new apartment. Turns out he just wanted to borrow my Xbox. FML

by jccwell / 09/23/2011 at 12:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

by drunkboysgf / 10/21/2011 at 3:39am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that what I thought could be a life-threatening issue causing me chest pains was only because I over-obsessed about it. Now not only do I have social anxiety, but I get so anxious I can create fake illnesses. FML

by daybyday / 11/22/2011 at 3:08am / Australia / Health

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML

by 1.30am / 02/10/2012 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love

Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML

by millavitsa / 01/03/2013 at 5:36pm / Ukraine / Miscellaneous