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Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

#7295020
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10198) - you deserved it (22553)

On 01/12/2010 at 2:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my long term ex, who broke up with me over a year ago and shattered my heart, seduced me (which wasn't hard as he knew I still had feelings for him) and as he pulled out after the couple of minutes of what he called sex, he used the line "There we go, that's your freebie." FML

#7406079
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11027) - you deserved it (21023)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by misshb (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

#7477467
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29885) - you deserved it (3213)

On 01/21/2010 at 4:40pm - kids - by nocatlover (man) - United States

Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML

#8715488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26551) - you deserved it (2839)

On 02/28/2010 at 11:00am - work - by Renesmeekuhnell (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

#8634808
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26913) - you deserved it (4468)

On 02/25/2010 at 6:46am - misc - by SayWhat (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my mother had remarried, and that I was getting a stepfather and stepbrother. However I found out about it 30 minutes before we left to pick them up from the airport, and also found out that I'm losing my bedroom. FML

#11895645
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42619) - you deserved it (2891)

On 07/15/2010 at 6:52am - misc - by photonut13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML

#13771882
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7674) - you deserved it (82980)

On 11/08/2010 at 11:18pm - love - by ashbox233 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

#12752229
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33800) - you deserved it (4366)

On 08/26/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my dad called, saying he was in town and that he wanted to see me. I was excited, thinking he wanted to come see my new apartment. Turns out he just wanted to borrow my Xbox. FML

#17813081
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25431) - you deserved it (2233)

On 09/23/2011 at 12:50pm - misc - by jccwell - United States

Today, I found out that what I thought could be a life-threatening issue causing me chest pains was only because I over-obsessed about it. Now not only do I have social anxiety, but I get so anxious I can create fake illnesses. FML

#18314342
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23089) - you deserved it (6130)

On 11/22/2011 at 3:08am - health - by daybyday - Australia

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

#18036926
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29826) - you deserved it (5028)

On 10/21/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by drunkboysgf - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML

#19039937
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26019) - you deserved it (2556)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:59am - love - by 1.30am (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, the novelty of shaving a heart into my pubic hair for my wife vanished, when I woke up to find a collection of scabs around my pubes. FML

#19542663
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (14871)

On 04/28/2012 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Matt (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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