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Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill on the floor and my dog ate it. The good news is, I startled her and she spit it right out. The bad news is, I still had to take it after it had been in my dog's mouth. FML

#3559417
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38484) - you deserved it (17958)

On 07/07/2009 at 5:29pm - animals - by ssnickel - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

#2991081
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8677) - you deserved it (61076)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by stelno - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called the campus police to give me a ride to the cafeteria since I am on crutches from knee surgery. I was only halfway into the car when the man started driving and ran over my foot. Now neither my right knee or my left foot work. FML

#12898
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40552) - you deserved it (1998)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by brokenkneechick (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I used an airplane bathroom. I used a paper seat cover because I didn't want my butt to touch the seat. The seat cover clogged the toilet. I stuck my hand in and fished the seat cover out. I essentially stuck my hand into an airplane toilet because I didn't want my ass to touch the seat. FML

#1186504
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14172) - you deserved it (68859)

On 04/21/2009 at 5:30am - misc - by Jen (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML

#1783104
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18491) - you deserved it (77849)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my cat was hit by a car. I took it to the vet expecting the worst but they told me that she’d be fine. I was so happy I didn't even mind paying the $50 bill. The next morning my cat was dead. Having her put down humanely would have cost $45, I paid $5 extra to have her die in my kitchen. FML

#2137962
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57534) - you deserved it (4035)

On 05/21/2009 at 4:06am - animals - by georgia819 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML

#2203706
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49451) - you deserved it (7639)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:43am - love - by Mel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML

#4608899
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33340) - you deserved it (24065)

On 08/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by BearGrillz - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML

#5462449
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31757) - you deserved it (6715)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:43am - health - by SterlingEnigma (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouts "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML

#5744040
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38465) - you deserved it (3568)

On 10/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Charon - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML

#5584861
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10194) - you deserved it (37640)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

#6792186
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7796) - you deserved it (34109)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by owmyballs - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML

#6961000
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (12362)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by blahppl14 (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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