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Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

#21076785
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39024) - you deserved it (3653)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (279) - you deserved it (18659)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45268) - you deserved it (8829)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, British Telecom disconnected my landline by mistake. Their call centre in India tried to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't need a phone line at my address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML

#365
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18752) - you deserved it (1784)

On 11/22/2008 at 6:51am - misc - by Sugar - United Kingdom

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

#1168
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16228) - you deserved it (2103)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by marlow - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML

#1663
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17728) - you deserved it (2818)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to sit here for 8 hours copying and pasting thousands of product codes on a frigging spreadsheet. My job title is not data entry, I'm a graphic designer. FML

#1791
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17534) - you deserved it (2259)

On 01/19/2009 at 8:23pm - work - by Lincoln - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

#2053
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17400) - you deserved it (2048)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:03pm - love - by maddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML

#4206
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18580) - you deserved it (2700)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Lady of Sorrows - United States (Indiana)

Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML

#101471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39273) - you deserved it (2725)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:14am - work - by Noname (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I checked my email for the hundredth time, hoping to hear back from a potential employer about a job I really want. No response. Why? My email with resume attached has been sitting in my Outbox for the past week. I never actually sent it out in the first place. FML

#5612700
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7680) - you deserved it (34107)

On 10/02/2009 at 10:23pm - work - by Unemployed (woman) - United States



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