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Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

#21331081
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40793) - you deserved it (3023)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:27am - misc - by shittysituation - United States (California)

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

#21296136
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45591) - you deserved it (4531)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by SisterOfTard (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39765) - you deserved it (5656)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (12572)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (39839)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30428) - you deserved it (2539)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into my car and steal my "Handicapped parking" placard. Guess why I couldn't stop her. FML

#21427634
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36270) - you deserved it (1892)

On 06/17/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by hobbled - United States

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

#21453585
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (4845)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm - misc - by I love L (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML

#363
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36884) - you deserved it (10138)

On 11/22/2008 at 3:17am - intimacy - by izoliv - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML

#970
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6921) - you deserved it (57420)

On 01/11/2009 at 2:13pm - love - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a call from a girl I know, asking if i could babysit her little brother at my house tonight. I said yes. When the boy came over he mentioned that his sister was having a party and didn't want him there. Turns out all my friends were invited except me. FML

#464379
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85996) - you deserved it (4470)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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