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Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML

#4943867
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23633) - you deserved it (7536)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:06am - work - by Mack (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML

#6191622
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17823) - you deserved it (2031)

On 11/07/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by iMarriedmymother (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the airport about to leave for my business trip. In the restroom, I put my purse on the edge of the sink and got my lipstick out. I leaned closer to apply my lipstick and my open purse fell into the sink, triggering the automatic faucet, filling my purse with water. FML

#6814532
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21394) - you deserved it (8803)

On 12/18/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my very good friend ratted me out to my boss because I used the photocopier for personal use. He said he will always be my friend, but "rules are rules." FML

#6569085
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29356) - you deserved it (8057)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML

#6596310
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23602) - you deserved it (2289)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:35am - money - by anon - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML

#6839126
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6645) - you deserved it (32526)

On 12/20/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML

#7077450
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20757) - you deserved it (2273)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML

#7121915
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (1864)

On 01/03/2010 at 5:59am - health - by nzkristy (woman) - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML

#8602827
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8830) - you deserved it (21536)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had a volleyball game against our rivals. I hit myself in the face with the ball 3 times, fell flat on my face against the court, and later had an asthma attack with no inhaler in sight. We lost the game. FML

#12879741
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23420) - you deserved it (5980)

On 09/03/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

#8300373
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (3599)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by skatergrrrl (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

#8700237
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17637) - you deserved it (6371)

On 02/27/2010 at 9:03pm - health - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

#8047035
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21857) - you deserved it (6508)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:26am - health - by mynameislor - Canada (Ontario)



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