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Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37103) - you deserved it (7054)
On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41456) - you deserved it (2234)
On 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (61407)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)
Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45671) - you deserved it (2858)
On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)
Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59275) - you deserved it (2955)
On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States
Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40495) - you deserved it (4615)
On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63767) - you deserved it (3908)
On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42945) - you deserved it (4071)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)
Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40776) - you deserved it (4052)
On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I turned around in my cubicle to see the entire marketing department (myself excluded) getting ready to have lunch together. Nobody mentioned it to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12710) - you deserved it (1188)
On 01/08/2009 at 8:30am - work - by Webmonkey - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12894) - you deserved it (2292)
On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8520) - you deserved it (3179)
On 01/20/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by JackAttack - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8377) - you deserved it (1149)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)
Monday 17 June 2013
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