Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

#21152412
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39752) - you deserved it (3630)

On 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by dear god why (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

#21188654
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43608) - you deserved it (4843)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:03am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

#21296136
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44724) - you deserved it (4454)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by SisterOfTard (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

#21285028
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34905) - you deserved it (4695)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm - work - by not on life, that's for fucking sure (man) - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (4445)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

#21331081
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40042) - you deserved it (2981)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:27am - misc - by shittysituation - United States (California)

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

#21374998
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39558) - you deserved it (2087)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:11pm - kids - by pledonasm (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

#21419654
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23892) - you deserved it (4597)

On 06/02/2015 at 11:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into my car and steal my "Handicapped parking" placard. Guess why I couldn't stop her. FML

#21427634
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34906) - you deserved it (1814)

On 06/17/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by hobbled - United States

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

#21453585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20827) - you deserved it (4446)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm - misc - by I love L (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML

#363
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35843) - you deserved it (9886)

On 11/22/2008 at 3:17am - intimacy - by izoliv - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic and to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her... Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML

#3525
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24416) - you deserved it (5657)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by IEatDammit - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at my friends birthday party, dancing bare foot because my feet hurt from the heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML

#2893086
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (5753)

On 06/14/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by not-so-happy-feet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: